Wow, I must have been pretty busy lately (or lazy) because I have not written anything in a looooong time- even though there is so much happening around me. I am very sorry- I didn't even finish tlking about my stay in the US but I will try to complete that section as soon as possible.
I can't believe 2009 is almost over. In a couple of days I will be sitting in a train with Jeanny on our way to Bamberg in Southern Germany to celebrate the first weekend of 2010 together.
2009 has been a year of ups and downs but in the end I can say that it has been more wonderful than horrible. It proved to be a start for many new and exciting things that are awaiting me in 2010.
I will start my own business, I will spend 4 months in the States as part of the internship that I am supposed to do in order to receive my certificate for the job training program that I am in right now. (Yes, I actually got accepted and I am sorry I haven't talked about any of this on here!)I am going to turn 25 in 2010, will be married for 4 years, will hopefully get even closer to finally graduating and who knows whatelse will be in store for me.
I have a feeling that 2010 is going to be my year! I can't wait to see what the future will bring and I start this new year with so much confidence- I know that I can get through anything and that I will pass every test along the way.
Happy new year, you guys! I hope it's a good one for you!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Time sure flies when you're happy- MY BAPTISM
This obviously isn't a surprise for those of you who read my blog on a regular basis or who happen to actually care about me. Lol. I have talked about my journey from being an atheist to becoming a believer before and I also debated on when and where I want to be baptized.
4 weeks ago I decided to write an email to Pastor Jim and asked him whether it was possible to receive my baptism while I am back in the States and it just so happened that they were actally doing baptisms on November 15th, my very first Sunday back home. I was ecstatic to learn that it would finally come full circle. In fact, I was so excited that I totally agreed to share my testimony with the entire congregation. I didn't really think about that until my departure drew closer. I started to panic because I tried to come up with something to say. I felt like my mind went completely blank.
When I woke up that morning, after my first night back home, I felt like I was about to throw up. I was soooo nervous, I could barely walk. Lol. We arrived at church around 9.30 am and I met Pastor Jim for the first time ever. He explained the whole procedure and I kinda calmed down until we all sat there waiting for the service to begin. The entire family was there with me which was the most wonderful thing ever. So I sat there, surrounded by wonderful people, with Mommy by my side (I wouldn't let her sit anywhere else! Ha!) waiting for it to be my turn.
When Pastor Jim took the stage and talked about his first Sunday at Trinity and that he received an email from Germany that day I knew it was my turn. So I walked up there, still not knowing what to say, and started talking. Honestly, I do not rememeber what exactly I said but it was fascinating how natural it seemed to me right then and there. The words just came out of my mouth and, apparently, those words made sense. Lol. If you like, you can listen to my testimoney online on Trinity's website. You'll find the link on the left side of this blog. Then just click on Podcasts/Audio Sermons and choose November 15th and there you have it. Supposedly, one day, there will be a video of my actual baptism on there...so check it out!
This a picture of my baptism- obviously. Lol.
After the service everyone went to Pam & Jerry's house for lunch. It was wonderful. They really spoiled me that day with cards, gifts, encouraging words and pumpkin pie! :)
It was wonderful to have people rejoice in my baptism with me. I wish people in Germany would be that happy for me as well. I know some of your are which means a lot to me. It really does.
And here is a song by MercyMe which goes out to all of you, especially to those who turned their backs on me after they learned about the change inside of me- may it be in the past or just now. I don't hold any grudges against you, I understand where you're coming from. I, once, lived the same destructive life that you are srill living and I hope that, one day, you will approach me again. I am there for you, as I have always been!
I will never forget November 15th, 2009. It turned out to be one of the best days of my life! :)
4 weeks ago I decided to write an email to Pastor Jim and asked him whether it was possible to receive my baptism while I am back in the States and it just so happened that they were actally doing baptisms on November 15th, my very first Sunday back home. I was ecstatic to learn that it would finally come full circle. In fact, I was so excited that I totally agreed to share my testimony with the entire congregation. I didn't really think about that until my departure drew closer. I started to panic because I tried to come up with something to say. I felt like my mind went completely blank.
When I woke up that morning, after my first night back home, I felt like I was about to throw up. I was soooo nervous, I could barely walk. Lol. We arrived at church around 9.30 am and I met Pastor Jim for the first time ever. He explained the whole procedure and I kinda calmed down until we all sat there waiting for the service to begin. The entire family was there with me which was the most wonderful thing ever. So I sat there, surrounded by wonderful people, with Mommy by my side (I wouldn't let her sit anywhere else! Ha!) waiting for it to be my turn.
When Pastor Jim took the stage and talked about his first Sunday at Trinity and that he received an email from Germany that day I knew it was my turn. So I walked up there, still not knowing what to say, and started talking. Honestly, I do not rememeber what exactly I said but it was fascinating how natural it seemed to me right then and there. The words just came out of my mouth and, apparently, those words made sense. Lol. If you like, you can listen to my testimoney online on Trinity's website. You'll find the link on the left side of this blog. Then just click on Podcasts/Audio Sermons and choose November 15th and there you have it. Supposedly, one day, there will be a video of my actual baptism on there...so check it out!
This a picture of my baptism- obviously. Lol.
After the service everyone went to Pam & Jerry's house for lunch. It was wonderful. They really spoiled me that day with cards, gifts, encouraging words and pumpkin pie! :)
It was wonderful to have people rejoice in my baptism with me. I wish people in Germany would be that happy for me as well. I know some of your are which means a lot to me. It really does.
And here is a song by MercyMe which goes out to all of you, especially to those who turned their backs on me after they learned about the change inside of me- may it be in the past or just now. I don't hold any grudges against you, I understand where you're coming from. I, once, lived the same destructive life that you are srill living and I hope that, one day, you will approach me again. I am there for you, as I have always been!
I will never forget November 15th, 2009. It turned out to be one of the best days of my life! :)
Time sure flies when you're happy- HOME AT LAST
I'm pretty sure all of you knew that I would not write ONE SINGLE WORD on here while I'm in the States. I don't even know why I thought I would- I should have known better. And, of course, I am not going to write in German either. Lol.
Well, what can I say? I am back in Germany. My two weeks at home were absolutely wonderful and could not have been more perfect. Seriously, it was so good to be back. I can't believe I managed to survive for 8 months without seeing my family and friends. How did I do that? Oh, of course, I got on YOUR nerves, dear Germans. :)
But let's start at the beginning. Matthias and I got to the airport around 3 am on November 14th. I checked in and we had a couple of coffees. I really hate the fact that you have to be at the airport so darn early just to check in on time. Well, Matthi and I laughed and had a good time and it still didn't feel like I would be going to the States. When it was finally time to get rid of my luggage I got really nervous. Matthi made fun of me but I guess I deserved it considering the way I behaved that morning. Lol. I went to the restrooms every other minute and just couldn't calm down at all. Believe it or not, but for a split second I even considered cancelling my whole trip! Ha! YES, isn't that just crazy?? BUT, of course, I would NEVER do that so we said our goodbyes and I went through security to board this tiny and crappy little plane that was supposed to get me to Amsterdam.
The plane left around 7 am and I got to Amsterdam at 8.20 am. Upon arriving at Amsterdam- Schipol airport I realized that I had NO EUROPEAN MONEY on me. GREAT! I had a 7 hour layover and, of course, I got hungry and thirsty but I didn't really have a chance to eat or drink anything because I didn't realize that I would have been able to pay with US- Dollars!! (Realized that on my way back!!) Anyway, I found my gate after an hour of walking (Amsterdam airport is just CRAZY. It's sooo big, it's insane!) and I just crashed on the seats there and slept almost the entire time and ALMOST didn't realize that it was time for me to board the plane.
The 9 hour flight to Detroit was eventless and boring, as always.
Interestingly enough we got to Detroit an hour early!! I realized the fam would not be there to pick me up yet so I took my time going through immigration and customs but it only took me 10 mins total. (By that time I was confused as to why it went that smoothly and expected major problems at some other point in time BUT it stayed smooth for the nexr 2 weeks- Praise God!) So I walked out of the security area and didn't see a familiar face. I sat down and decided to stay calm and wait for a while. After an hour or so I started to get a little worried since I was all by myself in that arrival hall and I started to wonder where the fam was. At first, I considered the fact that they might have forgotten about me flying in that day but there would have been NO WAY they would forget that. So I started to worry about them. I wondered whether something had happened to them on the way to Detroit. I didn't wanna think about that so I eased my mind with the thought of them being at the wrong terminal. But the fear of a car accident or such was stronger so I texted Linds (well knowing she wouldn't text back because I was still using my German phone). I eventually called her to find out that they did, indeed, end up at the wrong terminal. I was so relieved, you have no idea. It took them quite a while to make it over to the terminal that I was at but we eventually managed to finally see each other again. YAY!! The sight of Mommy, Linds and Adrian walking into the arrival hall was one of the best things I had seen in months and all of my stress, uneasiness and nervousness vanished within seconds. (Go figure- I knew this would happen, but apparently I don't wanna relax...lol).
So we drove home and everything felt like it's supposed to feel: No awkward moments, no weird silence- I had this image in my head of returning home from a 2 week vacation and my family is there to pick me up. That's how it felt. It never, not for one second, felt like it had been 8 long months since we last saw each other. It still blows my mind that it feels so natural and so right every time I come back.
Anyway, we ordered Pizza on the way home, picked it up and I finally walked into the "Ohio States Home" (as Adrian calls it) just to be welcomed by Jaron, Tristin, Nate and a huge "Welcome home, Lilly" sign; not-so-cold beer was sitting there for me...it was just totally neat.
We sat out in little Italy for a while, watched some TV and went to bed.
What a perfect start for my 2 weeks back home. I will end it right here for now. I won't tell you all the detais about every day but I will discuss each milestone in a seperate post! But as of right now I really need to go to bed! It's 4 am in Germany and by now I would be falling asleep on the couch in Upper...soooooo....I really need to try that here in Germany as well. :)
Well, what can I say? I am back in Germany. My two weeks at home were absolutely wonderful and could not have been more perfect. Seriously, it was so good to be back. I can't believe I managed to survive for 8 months without seeing my family and friends. How did I do that? Oh, of course, I got on YOUR nerves, dear Germans. :)
But let's start at the beginning. Matthias and I got to the airport around 3 am on November 14th. I checked in and we had a couple of coffees. I really hate the fact that you have to be at the airport so darn early just to check in on time. Well, Matthi and I laughed and had a good time and it still didn't feel like I would be going to the States. When it was finally time to get rid of my luggage I got really nervous. Matthi made fun of me but I guess I deserved it considering the way I behaved that morning. Lol. I went to the restrooms every other minute and just couldn't calm down at all. Believe it or not, but for a split second I even considered cancelling my whole trip! Ha! YES, isn't that just crazy?? BUT, of course, I would NEVER do that so we said our goodbyes and I went through security to board this tiny and crappy little plane that was supposed to get me to Amsterdam.
The plane left around 7 am and I got to Amsterdam at 8.20 am. Upon arriving at Amsterdam- Schipol airport I realized that I had NO EUROPEAN MONEY on me. GREAT! I had a 7 hour layover and, of course, I got hungry and thirsty but I didn't really have a chance to eat or drink anything because I didn't realize that I would have been able to pay with US- Dollars!! (Realized that on my way back!!) Anyway, I found my gate after an hour of walking (Amsterdam airport is just CRAZY. It's sooo big, it's insane!) and I just crashed on the seats there and slept almost the entire time and ALMOST didn't realize that it was time for me to board the plane.
The 9 hour flight to Detroit was eventless and boring, as always.
Interestingly enough we got to Detroit an hour early!! I realized the fam would not be there to pick me up yet so I took my time going through immigration and customs but it only took me 10 mins total. (By that time I was confused as to why it went that smoothly and expected major problems at some other point in time BUT it stayed smooth for the nexr 2 weeks- Praise God!) So I walked out of the security area and didn't see a familiar face. I sat down and decided to stay calm and wait for a while. After an hour or so I started to get a little worried since I was all by myself in that arrival hall and I started to wonder where the fam was. At first, I considered the fact that they might have forgotten about me flying in that day but there would have been NO WAY they would forget that. So I started to worry about them. I wondered whether something had happened to them on the way to Detroit. I didn't wanna think about that so I eased my mind with the thought of them being at the wrong terminal. But the fear of a car accident or such was stronger so I texted Linds (well knowing she wouldn't text back because I was still using my German phone). I eventually called her to find out that they did, indeed, end up at the wrong terminal. I was so relieved, you have no idea. It took them quite a while to make it over to the terminal that I was at but we eventually managed to finally see each other again. YAY!! The sight of Mommy, Linds and Adrian walking into the arrival hall was one of the best things I had seen in months and all of my stress, uneasiness and nervousness vanished within seconds. (Go figure- I knew this would happen, but apparently I don't wanna relax...lol).
So we drove home and everything felt like it's supposed to feel: No awkward moments, no weird silence- I had this image in my head of returning home from a 2 week vacation and my family is there to pick me up. That's how it felt. It never, not for one second, felt like it had been 8 long months since we last saw each other. It still blows my mind that it feels so natural and so right every time I come back.
Anyway, we ordered Pizza on the way home, picked it up and I finally walked into the "Ohio States Home" (as Adrian calls it) just to be welcomed by Jaron, Tristin, Nate and a huge "Welcome home, Lilly" sign; not-so-cold beer was sitting there for me...it was just totally neat.
We sat out in little Italy for a while, watched some TV and went to bed.
What a perfect start for my 2 weeks back home. I will end it right here for now. I won't tell you all the detais about every day but I will discuss each milestone in a seperate post! But as of right now I really need to go to bed! It's 4 am in Germany and by now I would be falling asleep on the couch in Upper...soooooo....I really need to try that here in Germany as well. :)
Friday, November 13, 2009
My 2 weeks of milestones - going home!
I am so sorry I haven't written anything on here in so long. I turn out to be a real bad blogger when things get really exciting in my life. I am sitting here, trying not to fall asleep, because I will be leaving for the airport in 2.5 hours!!
I am excited beyond words. But, much to my very own surprise, I am soooooo nervous. I don't really know why and it totally doesn't make any sense to me because I have been to the States multiple times and I should be used to everything by now.
I'm just very emotional. I have so many great things to look forward to within the next two weeks and I am slightly worried that it might be a tad bit too much for me to handle.
I'm not sure how many times I will actually manage to write on my blog while I am back home but I try my best to keep you all updated. As a matter of fact, I might write this blog in German since all of my fav Americans will be there to share my milestones with me but you, my dearest German friends, won't...so I will consider the possibility...lol.
Thanks to everyone for bearing with me the past 8 months. I know I am a pain in the butt. I talk about everyone in the States a lot and I am sorry if I got on your nerves.
Love you guys!!
I am excited beyond words. But, much to my very own surprise, I am soooooo nervous. I don't really know why and it totally doesn't make any sense to me because I have been to the States multiple times and I should be used to everything by now.
I'm just very emotional. I have so many great things to look forward to within the next two weeks and I am slightly worried that it might be a tad bit too much for me to handle.
I'm not sure how many times I will actually manage to write on my blog while I am back home but I try my best to keep you all updated. As a matter of fact, I might write this blog in German since all of my fav Americans will be there to share my milestones with me but you, my dearest German friends, won't...so I will consider the possibility...lol.
Thanks to everyone for bearing with me the past 8 months. I know I am a pain in the butt. I talk about everyone in the States a lot and I am sorry if I got on your nerves.
Love you guys!!
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Theater for Dummies: Lesson #5 - Dreaming about future roles
Every actor can tell you what their dream role looks like. It's either a clear picture of what the dream character is struggling with, achieving or going through or you have specific roles in mind. Everyone always strives to get closer to that specific role you wish to portray and if you manage to play that part it truly is a dream come true. But most of the time, especially young actors, wish for roles that are (still) out of their league, so to speak, because most of the time you picture roles that you would love to end your career with. It's interesting in a way but if you think about it it makes total sense: since you know you're not as good as you should be to portray that character just yet you work your butt off to become that good. So it actually helps your career and who knows...maybe, one day, you will actually get to play the part you would die for.
Below you will find some of the roles and characters I would die for to play one day. I have A LONG way to go to reach the point of actually being able to become these people and I will probably never get to play them anyways but I still love dreaming about it. Who knows what the future may bring!?
My frist dream role is "Reno" from the amazing Cole Porter musical "Anything Goes":
Then we have "Audrey" from "Little shop of horros":
Also, I would LOVE to be "Janet" in "The Rocky Horror Picture Show". LOVE that kinky show. Ha! (YES, crazy German....I KNOW!)
You may think: but those are all musicals. Yes, they are. I LOVE musicals, but there are also tons of plays I would love to be in. One of dream roles is "Julie" from "Miss Julie" by August Strindberg which will be our next play..so one of my dreams is about to come true!! Below you will find the theatrical trailer of the "Miss Julie" movie from 1999. It'll give you an impression of what the play is all about. I CAN'T wait to be her!
Below you will find some of the roles and characters I would die for to play one day. I have A LONG way to go to reach the point of actually being able to become these people and I will probably never get to play them anyways but I still love dreaming about it. Who knows what the future may bring!?
My frist dream role is "Reno" from the amazing Cole Porter musical "Anything Goes":
Then we have "Audrey" from "Little shop of horros":
Also, I would LOVE to be "Janet" in "The Rocky Horror Picture Show". LOVE that kinky show. Ha! (YES, crazy German....I KNOW!)
You may think: but those are all musicals. Yes, they are. I LOVE musicals, but there are also tons of plays I would love to be in. One of dream roles is "Julie" from "Miss Julie" by August Strindberg which will be our next play..so one of my dreams is about to come true!! Below you will find the theatrical trailer of the "Miss Julie" movie from 1999. It'll give you an impression of what the play is all about. I CAN'T wait to be her!
Thursday, October 22, 2009
And another video: you can actually see my house!
Oh, and I found this. This is right where I live. At 0:40 you can actually see me car! (It's the third car from the left, blue with winter tires!)
Once this dude is showing you the entire parking lot (that's what that dirty area is supposed to be!) just look right across it and my house is at the very right corner at the other end of the parking lot. You can't REALLY see it, but that's where I live! :)
Once this dude is showing you the entire parking lot (that's what that dirty area is supposed to be!) just look right across it and my house is at the very right corner at the other end of the parking lot. You can't REALLY see it, but that's where I live! :)
My new home: Nordhausen
I found some videos on YouTube about the city I am currently living in! It gives you an idea about German architecture and German culture. So take a look if you're interested! :)
Monday, October 19, 2009
Being married ... to an Atheist.
I love Matthias. And I love being married to him. The past three years may have been full of ups and downs but that mostly resulted from our jobs. It didn't result from having different views on life which is amazing in a way considering the fact that there would be so much potential for us to fight about what we believe (or not believe) in.
I was raised in an atheist household. I know all the doubts, questions and everything atheists use to deny the existence of God. I went through 16 years of my life questioning and denying God. I did, however, always seek to find the deeper meaning of my life which later turned out to be answered upon accepting God into my life.
Two years later I met Matthias, who is an Atheist, and he somewhat experienced my journey with me. I honestly don't think Matthias will ever become a fully committed follower of Christ but he is such a wonderful supporter. I have to say I stand in awe of his support sometimes. That just makes me love him even more. He is a great listener. He is always there for me when I wrestle with God or become unpatient with Him. He is happy with me when I appreciate God's blessings. He cries happy tears with me when I get so overwhelmed by the love of God. Matthias wants me to read passages of the Bible to him, he knows exactly when I need my time of solitude and prayer. I seriously couldn't ask for more. Sometimes, when we discuss human behavior or the course of history he asks me: "Is there a passage in the Bible about this?" I am truly speechless sometimes and I am so grateful and feel truly blessed to be his wife.
I especially love it when he tells everyone that his wife is a Christian. He is proud of the path I am on and even though he is not a believer, he helps me to mature in my faith. Isn't that just amazing?
I was raised in an atheist household. I know all the doubts, questions and everything atheists use to deny the existence of God. I went through 16 years of my life questioning and denying God. I did, however, always seek to find the deeper meaning of my life which later turned out to be answered upon accepting God into my life.
Two years later I met Matthias, who is an Atheist, and he somewhat experienced my journey with me. I honestly don't think Matthias will ever become a fully committed follower of Christ but he is such a wonderful supporter. I have to say I stand in awe of his support sometimes. That just makes me love him even more. He is a great listener. He is always there for me when I wrestle with God or become unpatient with Him. He is happy with me when I appreciate God's blessings. He cries happy tears with me when I get so overwhelmed by the love of God. Matthias wants me to read passages of the Bible to him, he knows exactly when I need my time of solitude and prayer. I seriously couldn't ask for more. Sometimes, when we discuss human behavior or the course of history he asks me: "Is there a passage in the Bible about this?" I am truly speechless sometimes and I am so grateful and feel truly blessed to be his wife.
I especially love it when he tells everyone that his wife is a Christian. He is proud of the path I am on and even though he is not a believer, he helps me to mature in my faith. Isn't that just amazing?
Thursday, October 15, 2009
MythEND pictures by Daniel Wendt
So, here are some of the pictures Daniel Wendt took... if you want to see all of them you need to go here.
This is a VERY SMALL selection of the picture series he took so be sure to check out the whole album and check out Daniel Wendt's blog for more awesome photography. You will find his link on the sidebar of my blog! :)
This is a VERY SMALL selection of the picture series he took so be sure to check out the whole album and check out Daniel Wendt's blog for more awesome photography. You will find his link on the sidebar of my blog! :)
Theater For Dummies: Lesson #4 - Time
There is no such thing as "enough time" to work on a production. Either you feel like you have to "rush" through the rehearsal process to make the "deadline" (which happens when you know in advance when your play is coming out) or you get lost in rehearsing a play because you don't know when exactly you need to be done with everything (because you don't know the exact opening date yet).
But either way everyone always says you would have needed more time to make it perfect. There is no such thing as a "perfect" production either, of course, but both the director and the actors will always think they could have changed things to make it closer to being perfect.
Time is never your friend and especially shortly before the play comes out things get VERY hectic sometimes.
I can honestly say I love the chaos and stress right before "the big day". But I also need time for myself right before the show starts to get into character and to calm myself down. Below you will find a picture which was taken an hour before the opening. It shows my favorite moment of a new play: getting into character by putting on the make up. I usually do it myself because it helps me to be calm and focused. I love doing it on my own because no one is there to bother me.
The picture was taken by Daniel Wendt and is a part of a series of pictures he took for our latest play "MythEND". More pictures will follow...
But either way everyone always says you would have needed more time to make it perfect. There is no such thing as a "perfect" production either, of course, but both the director and the actors will always think they could have changed things to make it closer to being perfect.
Time is never your friend and especially shortly before the play comes out things get VERY hectic sometimes.
I can honestly say I love the chaos and stress right before "the big day". But I also need time for myself right before the show starts to get into character and to calm myself down. Below you will find a picture which was taken an hour before the opening. It shows my favorite moment of a new play: getting into character by putting on the make up. I usually do it myself because it helps me to be calm and focused. I love doing it on my own because no one is there to bother me.
The picture was taken by Daniel Wendt and is a part of a series of pictures he took for our latest play "MythEND". More pictures will follow...
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
I love.
I love staying up late.
I love getting up early to witness the beauty of a morning.
I love watching American TV shows online.
I love getting 3 e-mails a day from a person I love.
I love seeing people smile.
I love making people smile.
I love hearing people talk about the beauty of their lives.
I love telling people about the beauty of my life.
I love choosing my own reality from time to time.
I love talking to myself pretending I was someone else.
I love counting down days.
I love surprises.
I love showing people I love them.
I love telling people I love them.
I love remembering the good old days.
I love hearing jokes I have heard before even if I don't think it's funny.
I love airports and train stations.
I love seeing people I haven't seen in a long time.
I love seeing people I have just seen the other day.
I love writing.
I love speaking English all day even if people don't understand me.
I love writing letters that I actually never send.
I love driving in my car listening to the same CD for almost a year.
I love the nervous feeling of checking my e-mails.
I love being sarcastic.
I love having a very dry sense of humor.
I love being creative.
I love being as lucky as I have ever been.
I love being all by myself.
I love being surrounded by people that mean the world to me.
I love the fact that my Mom knows exactly when to call.
I love singing and dancing.
I love having guts to try everything at least once.
I love having been called a "grown up" when I was only 12.
I love having secrets.
I love sharing my secrets with only a very few people.
I love being a Germarican.
I love having a sister without even being related to her.
I love having found my soulmate.
I love knowing that I am never alone.
I love being loved.
I love loving.
I love to cry from time to time.
I love my families and friends.
I love having coffee three times a day.
I love dreaming.
I love hoping.
I love wishing.
I love being married.
I love the fact that I can fully appreciate myself and the life I am living.
I love to be in the United States.
I love helping people.
I love forgetting about myself.
I love reminding myself about myself.
I love theater.
I love my chaotic lifestyle.
I love receiving late night phone calls from my Dad.
I love receiving postcards from my brother.
I love not being able to read them because of his handwriting.
I love the way Matthias looks after he just got out of bed.
I love planning things.
I love it when plans never work out.
I love skype and facebook.
I love watching random episodes of TV shows I never watch to see my favorite actors.
I love having favorite actors.
I love "Pushing Daisies".
I love "GLEE".
I love "Sisters".
I love the feeling of freedom while being in the US.
I love pumpkin pie.
I love sitting in Italian Upper Sandusky.
I love hugging people.
I love being hugged.
I love drinking coffee out of the same mug every day.
I love having "special mugs" on both sides of the planet.
I love feeling at home in the States.
I love it when unexpected things happen.
I love witnessing a miracle each day.
I love so many things that I can't write them all down.
I love my lfe and
I love YOU!
I love getting up early to witness the beauty of a morning.
I love watching American TV shows online.
I love getting 3 e-mails a day from a person I love.
I love seeing people smile.
I love making people smile.
I love hearing people talk about the beauty of their lives.
I love telling people about the beauty of my life.
I love choosing my own reality from time to time.
I love talking to myself pretending I was someone else.
I love counting down days.
I love surprises.
I love showing people I love them.
I love telling people I love them.
I love remembering the good old days.
I love hearing jokes I have heard before even if I don't think it's funny.
I love airports and train stations.
I love seeing people I haven't seen in a long time.
I love seeing people I have just seen the other day.
I love writing.
I love speaking English all day even if people don't understand me.
I love writing letters that I actually never send.
I love driving in my car listening to the same CD for almost a year.
I love the nervous feeling of checking my e-mails.
I love being sarcastic.
I love having a very dry sense of humor.
I love being creative.
I love being as lucky as I have ever been.
I love being all by myself.
I love being surrounded by people that mean the world to me.
I love the fact that my Mom knows exactly when to call.
I love singing and dancing.
I love having guts to try everything at least once.
I love having been called a "grown up" when I was only 12.
I love having secrets.
I love sharing my secrets with only a very few people.
I love being a Germarican.
I love having a sister without even being related to her.
I love having found my soulmate.
I love knowing that I am never alone.
I love being loved.
I love loving.
I love to cry from time to time.
I love my families and friends.
I love having coffee three times a day.
I love dreaming.
I love hoping.
I love wishing.
I love being married.
I love the fact that I can fully appreciate myself and the life I am living.
I love to be in the United States.
I love helping people.
I love forgetting about myself.
I love reminding myself about myself.
I love theater.
I love my chaotic lifestyle.
I love receiving late night phone calls from my Dad.
I love receiving postcards from my brother.
I love not being able to read them because of his handwriting.
I love the way Matthias looks after he just got out of bed.
I love planning things.
I love it when plans never work out.
I love skype and facebook.
I love watching random episodes of TV shows I never watch to see my favorite actors.
I love having favorite actors.
I love "Pushing Daisies".
I love "GLEE".
I love "Sisters".
I love the feeling of freedom while being in the US.
I love pumpkin pie.
I love sitting in Italian Upper Sandusky.
I love hugging people.
I love being hugged.
I love drinking coffee out of the same mug every day.
I love having "special mugs" on both sides of the planet.
I love feeling at home in the States.
I love it when unexpected things happen.
I love witnessing a miracle each day.
I love so many things that I can't write them all down.
I love my lfe and
I love YOU!
Sunday, October 4, 2009
MythEND opened last night
FINALLY, after months of hard work, we had our first MythEND show last night. It was a good show. We didn't have too many people in the audience but they were nevertheless VERY appreciative and we couldn't have asked for a better night. As soon as I have the pictures (that were, again, taken by Daniel Wendt)I will post them on here.
I am glad our first show went well and I cannot wait for tomorrow to get out on stage again.
Thanks to all of you who came to see me and us! Hope to see some of you tomorrow! :)
I am glad our first show went well and I cannot wait for tomorrow to get out on stage again.
Thanks to all of you who came to see me and us! Hope to see some of you tomorrow! :)
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
It all began because of this...
One of my favorite movies of all times is "Bridges of Madison County" with Meryl Streep and Clint Eastwood. I think I have talked about it before. (I am pretty sure I have!)
I first saw this movie when I was 10. That day I fell in love with the United States. That was the day when I decided I HAD to go see this country one day. Call me crazy but it seriously happened that way. Also, Meryl Streep's acting touched me in unexplainable (is that a word? ha!) ways... I have never seen an actress play the notion of longing as well as she does it in this movie. I have longed for numerous things ever since... must have been my destiny since I am still longing to be in the States. Ha! DRAMAAAAAAA! Lol... well, anyways, I found this video on YouTube and just wanted to share it.
In case you haven't seen "Bridges" GO SEE IT RIGHT NOW!!! You're missing out if you don't watch it.
I first saw this movie when I was 10. That day I fell in love with the United States. That was the day when I decided I HAD to go see this country one day. Call me crazy but it seriously happened that way. Also, Meryl Streep's acting touched me in unexplainable (is that a word? ha!) ways... I have never seen an actress play the notion of longing as well as she does it in this movie. I have longed for numerous things ever since... must have been my destiny since I am still longing to be in the States. Ha! DRAMAAAAAAA! Lol... well, anyways, I found this video on YouTube and just wanted to share it.
In case you haven't seen "Bridges" GO SEE IT RIGHT NOW!!! You're missing out if you don't watch it.
Long-distance-relationships...
I think I have gotten used to being away from the people that mean the world to me. I still don't like it but I know there is nothing I can do about it.
That's probably the reason as to why I am "okay" with not seeing Matthias for weeks and months in a row. It still sucks in a way because we have to discuss important issues on the phone and I sometimes feel like I am all alone having to face problems that I would rather tackle together. But I know there is nothing I can do about it which is why I just got used to being on my own. This is where the notion of freedom and self-dependence comes into play. I believe that I value my freedom and independence so much that I can't really stand living with someone... especially not with my husband. This may be odd or even insane but both Matthias and I are so used to living our daily lives apart from each other that it's hard to cope with each other's behavioral patterns sometimes. I mean, we love each other nevertheless but living together is more of a challenge than being apart from each other sometimes. (Of course, we cherish being together... just don't jump to conclusions!)
And, because of that, I think I learned to live with being away from my favorite Americans... the only difference is that whenever I think of them I can't wait to have them around me. Isn't that just weird? Thinking of the States I always see myself surrounded by tons of people and I love it. Why does my desire to be on my own vanish the moment I am back in the States?? May anyone please explain that to me?!
Whenever friends of mine leave Germany to study/work abroad I miss them dearly. Being away from Cathi was a pain in the butt (she is my longest and closest friend after all) but we managed being away from each other quite well because we had quite regular contact with each other. Now my soulmate Claudi is gone. Claudi and I have become extremely close within the past year and it was really hard for me to see her go. But I think with her it's even harder because I am working in her old job, staying at her apartment when I need a place to sleep in Leipzig... I am constantly reminded of her. I'm not complaining but it makes it harder for me to find back to my daily routine (whatever that is! Ha!)...
On the other hand, when I am in the States, I hardly ever think of Germany... man, life is complicated sometimes. It really is.
But relationships are as hard or as easy as you make them... that's a fact!
That's probably the reason as to why I am "okay" with not seeing Matthias for weeks and months in a row. It still sucks in a way because we have to discuss important issues on the phone and I sometimes feel like I am all alone having to face problems that I would rather tackle together. But I know there is nothing I can do about it which is why I just got used to being on my own. This is where the notion of freedom and self-dependence comes into play. I believe that I value my freedom and independence so much that I can't really stand living with someone... especially not with my husband. This may be odd or even insane but both Matthias and I are so used to living our daily lives apart from each other that it's hard to cope with each other's behavioral patterns sometimes. I mean, we love each other nevertheless but living together is more of a challenge than being apart from each other sometimes. (Of course, we cherish being together... just don't jump to conclusions!)
And, because of that, I think I learned to live with being away from my favorite Americans... the only difference is that whenever I think of them I can't wait to have them around me. Isn't that just weird? Thinking of the States I always see myself surrounded by tons of people and I love it. Why does my desire to be on my own vanish the moment I am back in the States?? May anyone please explain that to me?!
Whenever friends of mine leave Germany to study/work abroad I miss them dearly. Being away from Cathi was a pain in the butt (she is my longest and closest friend after all) but we managed being away from each other quite well because we had quite regular contact with each other. Now my soulmate Claudi is gone. Claudi and I have become extremely close within the past year and it was really hard for me to see her go. But I think with her it's even harder because I am working in her old job, staying at her apartment when I need a place to sleep in Leipzig... I am constantly reminded of her. I'm not complaining but it makes it harder for me to find back to my daily routine (whatever that is! Ha!)...
On the other hand, when I am in the States, I hardly ever think of Germany... man, life is complicated sometimes. It really is.
But relationships are as hard or as easy as you make them... that's a fact!
Monday, September 21, 2009
Everyone needs a song....
I need music to make it through the day. And, during times like these, I need a VERY positive song....here is MY song. What's your's?
Happy birthday!
Today is my Mom's birthday! Even though she is not reading this blog (because she doesn't know anything about it....LOL)I wanted to let you all know about her special day! :)
Theater for Dummies: Lesson #3 - Practices
Working on a new play is time-consuming. Oftentimes, actors are not able to do anything else besides working on that new play. (Yes, I have not done laundry in 4 weeks or so... it's THAT time-consuming!)
Working on a play also means you spend way too much time with the same group of people which can be a real pain in the butt. Below I will show you the stages you go through while working on a play:
Stage #1 - GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER
This is an interesting stage of working together. Everything is new. The play, the ideas behind it, the people you work with. It's exciting and intimidating at the same time. You try to test your boundaries and try to get to know the people around you.
Stage #2 - BECOMING A TEAM
This is an awesome stage because people are having the most fun with each other. The opening of the play is far far away and you just bounce around creative ideas. The play is slowly evolving and people begin to think anything is possible. Phone numbers are exchanged and daily contact with each other (even outside of the whole practice process) is almost needed by everyone involved.
Stage #3 - DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA
This is when it gets complicated. By now people have gotten to know each other quite well (including things you don't like about each other). The bitching starts and things get tiring up to the point of yelling at each other. Tension is constantly in the room and every minute spent outside of the group is a relief.
Stage #4 - PANIC
After all the drama the fact that the play will be opening soon slowly sinks in. The teams gets together again to make up for the loss of time due to arguments. Play practices are a display of everyone's panic and things go terribly wrong which causes even more trouble. But people hold themselves back. Yelling and being mad at each other are kept on a very low level in order to make everything work.
Stage #5 - FINALE
2 days before the play opens things are finally back to normal. A lot of things still go wrong and people are worried but they also know it's "theater's law" that the show itself will be just great. After the show opens people just hug each other. Personal issues are resolved and everyone is happy and relieved.
Right now, we are at stage #4 with 2 weeks to go before the big day. I am confident everything will work out but it's still stressful to go through the panic stage because it hinders your creative process in a way.
Working on a play also means you spend way too much time with the same group of people which can be a real pain in the butt. Below I will show you the stages you go through while working on a play:
Stage #1 - GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER
This is an interesting stage of working together. Everything is new. The play, the ideas behind it, the people you work with. It's exciting and intimidating at the same time. You try to test your boundaries and try to get to know the people around you.
Stage #2 - BECOMING A TEAM
This is an awesome stage because people are having the most fun with each other. The opening of the play is far far away and you just bounce around creative ideas. The play is slowly evolving and people begin to think anything is possible. Phone numbers are exchanged and daily contact with each other (even outside of the whole practice process) is almost needed by everyone involved.
Stage #3 - DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA
This is when it gets complicated. By now people have gotten to know each other quite well (including things you don't like about each other). The bitching starts and things get tiring up to the point of yelling at each other. Tension is constantly in the room and every minute spent outside of the group is a relief.
Stage #4 - PANIC
After all the drama the fact that the play will be opening soon slowly sinks in. The teams gets together again to make up for the loss of time due to arguments. Play practices are a display of everyone's panic and things go terribly wrong which causes even more trouble. But people hold themselves back. Yelling and being mad at each other are kept on a very low level in order to make everything work.
Stage #5 - FINALE
2 days before the play opens things are finally back to normal. A lot of things still go wrong and people are worried but they also know it's "theater's law" that the show itself will be just great. After the show opens people just hug each other. Personal issues are resolved and everyone is happy and relieved.
Right now, we are at stage #4 with 2 weeks to go before the big day. I am confident everything will work out but it's still stressful to go through the panic stage because it hinders your creative process in a way.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
The verdict is in...
I received the grade for my Bachelor's Thesis today!!!! I got a 2.5 (which equals a B- or something). So I'm thrilled. Didn't think I'd get a B at all... so yeah, time to celebrate!! :)
Theater for Dummies: Lesson #2- Morals
As a matter of fact morals are non-existant when it comes to theater. I think it's a misconception that goes back to the fact that people think the character or role performed by an actor is the real person or the actor itself. OF COURSE NOT!!
I have been asked a million times how I could play a lesbian. Umm, well...it's not me, you know. When you go on stage and take on a role you can't think about if that character collides with your moral standards in life. It's not YOU being up on stage...it's a character and it doesn't matter who that character is. As an actor (if you love your job) you fall in love with EVERY character you play (or else you would just not be good).
I have played so many different characters and I learned to love them all. It doesn't matter if you're portraying a dumb, cruel, arrogant (...) character. The actor knows it's not the real you.
I have encountered something while working on a play a couple of years ago that made me think of the question of morals and theater. We had a scene where a girl was raped and one of the extras in the play, a Catholic woman, said she refuses to be a part of that scene because of her beliefs. The director told her that she may go home and never return. You may think that's cruel. Yes, it was a very graphic scene and of course, especially as a woman, you don't want to witness something like that (may it be real or not). But I guess I was the only one that understood the director's attitude. That Catholic woman was just wrong in the job!
We wouldn't have theater at all if we all would just refuse to do something because it doesn't go along with what we stand for in life.
I am anti-racist. In fact, I am probably one of the most active members of an organization fighting racism. But that's me in real life. If I had to portray someone that was racist on stage I would certainly do it. And I would still find things to love about that character. That's my job. That's what I do.
That is theater.
I have been asked a million times how I could play a lesbian. Umm, well...it's not me, you know. When you go on stage and take on a role you can't think about if that character collides with your moral standards in life. It's not YOU being up on stage...it's a character and it doesn't matter who that character is. As an actor (if you love your job) you fall in love with EVERY character you play (or else you would just not be good).
I have played so many different characters and I learned to love them all. It doesn't matter if you're portraying a dumb, cruel, arrogant (...) character. The actor knows it's not the real you.
I have encountered something while working on a play a couple of years ago that made me think of the question of morals and theater. We had a scene where a girl was raped and one of the extras in the play, a Catholic woman, said she refuses to be a part of that scene because of her beliefs. The director told her that she may go home and never return. You may think that's cruel. Yes, it was a very graphic scene and of course, especially as a woman, you don't want to witness something like that (may it be real or not). But I guess I was the only one that understood the director's attitude. That Catholic woman was just wrong in the job!
We wouldn't have theater at all if we all would just refuse to do something because it doesn't go along with what we stand for in life.
I am anti-racist. In fact, I am probably one of the most active members of an organization fighting racism. But that's me in real life. If I had to portray someone that was racist on stage I would certainly do it. And I would still find things to love about that character. That's my job. That's what I do.
That is theater.
Theater for Dummies: Lesson #1 - Theater Crushes
As an actor/actress it is the most normal thing to have a "crush" on a fellow actor/actress especially when you rehearse intimate scenes.
Intimicy in a theater-related context has nothing to do with sexuality. It rather proves to be helpful to be intimate/close with each other (meaning to experience no physical boundaries between one another, nudity and touching of private parts related to the rehearsal process are not a problem). This intimicy disappears the moment the practice is over. Therefore, the "crush" disappears as soon as the practice/play/show etc is over.
For colleagues to have crushes on another while working on a play is normal and has nothing to do with their personal relationships outside of the theater context. Like stated before a theater crush is helpful to portray a believable relationship of two characters on stage. Of course, the line between practice and reality is sometimes very thin but a professional actor/actress knows to never make the mistake of believing that the theater crush could or should work out in real life.
Why am I writing this? I have found it to be extremely nerve-wracking to explain my work to others... yes, I am having theater crushes all the time and yes, it happens to be the same person sometimes but I would NEVER live that out in the real world.
I will keep on posting blogs entitled "Theater for Dummies" trying to explain things that are not understandable for "outsiders". I don't want to educate you, I just hope that it will prove to be a good source for you to understand me a little better.
I know it's hard when you're not involved in professional theater. And, I am really sorry, but I don't want to hear any "...our play production in High School" stories. It has absolutely nothing to do with it. Seriously, NOTHING! No hard feelings... just trying to get you involved! :)
Intimicy in a theater-related context has nothing to do with sexuality. It rather proves to be helpful to be intimate/close with each other (meaning to experience no physical boundaries between one another, nudity and touching of private parts related to the rehearsal process are not a problem). This intimicy disappears the moment the practice is over. Therefore, the "crush" disappears as soon as the practice/play/show etc is over.
For colleagues to have crushes on another while working on a play is normal and has nothing to do with their personal relationships outside of the theater context. Like stated before a theater crush is helpful to portray a believable relationship of two characters on stage. Of course, the line between practice and reality is sometimes very thin but a professional actor/actress knows to never make the mistake of believing that the theater crush could or should work out in real life.
Why am I writing this? I have found it to be extremely nerve-wracking to explain my work to others... yes, I am having theater crushes all the time and yes, it happens to be the same person sometimes but I would NEVER live that out in the real world.
I will keep on posting blogs entitled "Theater for Dummies" trying to explain things that are not understandable for "outsiders". I don't want to educate you, I just hope that it will prove to be a good source for you to understand me a little better.
I know it's hard when you're not involved in professional theater. And, I am really sorry, but I don't want to hear any "...our play production in High School" stories. It has absolutely nothing to do with it. Seriously, NOTHING! No hard feelings... just trying to get you involved! :)
Monday, September 14, 2009
Do you still remember what I look like?
It's been a little over 5 months since I last saw most of my favorite Americans. It's been almost a month since I last saw my soulmate Claudi.
It's been way too long since I last saw most of you.
But nevertheless I still have your picture in my mind. But do you still remember what I look like? No? Well, here is the latest picture of me. I took it with my webcam last night around 3 am. I have to say I look surprisingly good for having worked all night.... so here it goes.
That's me...seriously, it's me! :)
It's been way too long since I last saw most of you.
But nevertheless I still have your picture in my mind. But do you still remember what I look like? No? Well, here is the latest picture of me. I took it with my webcam last night around 3 am. I have to say I look surprisingly good for having worked all night.... so here it goes.
That's me...seriously, it's me! :)
Sunday, September 13, 2009
My new car!
That's what my brandnew car will look like! YAY! Can't wait till February to finally have it!! It's awesome...
Busy working on a career....
So, okay...before people start complaining again: YES, I have been VERY busy lately. I started my new job (Claudi's old job...LOL), tried to be nice to my friends and family (aka spend quality time with them), applied for an off-the-job training to become an export-business lady (yes, no kidding! Will talk about all of that once they accepted me into the program) and tried to enhance my acting career.
Remember Boeme & Tochter? That is the theater group that I co-founded. For the past 4 weeks I have been trying to fill in for the former cast member that dropped out of the production. I can tell you that much: I got totally sucked into this whole thing again! I LOVE IT!! But since I am not ONLY an actor but also one of the two ladies trying to make this whole thing work I have tons of other stuff to...PR to be exact! It's a pain in the butt...but it has to be done. Besides this I am painting/building props etc... and since I am also in charge of the make up I need to get ideas FAST because we only have another 20 days till "MythEND" opens.
We don't have any promotional pics yet but we received our poster/ads today which is very exciting!! Just wanted to share this with all of you!
For those of you living in Germany: tickets for MythEND (October 2nd and 4th, 8pm @ Spinnwerk) are now on sale. You need to order them in advance. So go ahead and call 0341/1268168! Hope to see some of you there!!
I am totally excited and can't wait to finally do what I love to do most and possible do best anyways. LOL!
Remember Boeme & Tochter? That is the theater group that I co-founded. For the past 4 weeks I have been trying to fill in for the former cast member that dropped out of the production. I can tell you that much: I got totally sucked into this whole thing again! I LOVE IT!! But since I am not ONLY an actor but also one of the two ladies trying to make this whole thing work I have tons of other stuff to...PR to be exact! It's a pain in the butt...but it has to be done. Besides this I am painting/building props etc... and since I am also in charge of the make up I need to get ideas FAST because we only have another 20 days till "MythEND" opens.
We don't have any promotional pics yet but we received our poster/ads today which is very exciting!! Just wanted to share this with all of you!
For those of you living in Germany: tickets for MythEND (October 2nd and 4th, 8pm @ Spinnwerk) are now on sale. You need to order them in advance. So go ahead and call 0341/1268168! Hope to see some of you there!!
I am totally excited and can't wait to finally do what I love to do most and possible do best anyways. LOL!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Friends and times when you don't see them...
Do you know the feeling when you are so busy and stressed out that you don't even have time to stay in contact with your friends. It's especially hard when it comes to friends that you rarely see anyways because you either live very far away or you just never seem to cross paths. I sometimes wonder if my friends from old days even know that I still think of them and that I will always cherish the times I had with them... and of course I wonder whether they still thionk of me at all.
I found a song that fits this situation perfectly. I feel in love with it and found it on YouTube to share with you guys!
Sometimes it takes just a little effort to bring a friendship back to life. It's well worth it... you should try it some day!
I found a song that fits this situation perfectly. I feel in love with it and found it on YouTube to share with you guys!
Sometimes it takes just a little effort to bring a friendship back to life. It's well worth it... you should try it some day!
Cars, Goodbyes, Questions and an Angel on a Train
I can't believe it's been three weeks (almost four actually) since I last posted something on here. I am so sorry! I know I have regular readers and some of them are really eager to know what's going on in my life. I appologize for neglecting this little virtual monologue... but maybe I can spil all of you with a LONG post to tell you about my last few weeks...
It's probably not surprising to you anymore if I tell you that it has been a crazy ride. Seems like my life is JUST crazy. I have to admit I miss moments of solitude... I haven't really had any of those in quite a while which is why I do get a little uneasy. But let's start from the beginning!
I think it was the week after I returned from my mini vacation when things got a little overwhelming for me. I already posted the "closet- incident" but I think this might have been the actual start of it all. I can't really tell seperate stories about what happened because they all happened somewhat at the same time and they all belong together but I will use my neat little headline to categorize the different little happenings.
Cars
I think I already told you that my car didn't work in forever... (it works again now!) But since it wasn't working three weeks ago I had to take a train to Leipzig because of the things I will talk about later...
Angel on a train
So I was sitting on that train, reading a book and writing my little story (no, not at the same time...LOL). The train was late which is why a lot of people couldn't make their connection trains. The train staff told everyone their next possible connections but there was a lady that didn't understand a word since she didn't speak English. Her problem was that she really needed to get to Berlin because she had to catch a flight. She tried to tell the staff about her problem but they didn't understand her and she couldn't understand them. Well, and of course (I guess everyone would have done that!) I tried to help them by translating back and forth. To me it was the most natural thing to do but apparently the lady working on that train has never encountered a helpful person before. When I arrived at my destination and promised to take the non-German lady to her connection train the staff member looked at me, full of gratefulness and almost shouted: "You are an angel!" I think I blushed right away. You know how some people would say things like that without any deeper meaning... but that lady meant it. I could see it in her eyes and I could hear it in her voice. It was so touching and I was embarrassed- oh well.
Questions
Upon arriving back in Nordhausen the next day, I received a phone call from my friend Barbara. (Remember her? She is the director and co- founder of Boeme & Tochter, our theater group)She has been rehearsing a our new play (which opens Oct 2nd)with a groups of actors. I refused to be a part of it due to several reasons but now, that shortly before the premiere, there were some major changes among the cast and she begged me to take on a lead. Well... here I am now, 4 weeks away from the big day trying to get the part, the songs and everything else down. It's scary, but I guess it's life. The play is growing on me and I think it could seriously be good. I enjoy working with most of my fellow actors but above it all I am just super thrilled that Barb and I have such a great time together while working on it. It's awesome and I will keep you updated on everything as we go along.
Goodbye, Claudi!
The months have flown by and on August 19th it was time to say goodbye to my soulmate. She left for a semester abroad. She'll be studying at Kent State University in Ohio. I miss her so much already. It's incredible how you can get used to being around certain people and how much it hurts when they leave. I know that I will see her again and I hope she'll be having the time of her life. But nevertheless, she left an empty spot now that she is gone. She seriously can't be replaced. She is just one of a kind and I wish her all the best!!
Okay, I am really sorry that this was kind of a run through my past weeks but I am so busy and stressed out right now that I can't concentrate on giving details... I just wanna share the basics as of right now. Sorry for that!
It's probably not surprising to you anymore if I tell you that it has been a crazy ride. Seems like my life is JUST crazy. I have to admit I miss moments of solitude... I haven't really had any of those in quite a while which is why I do get a little uneasy. But let's start from the beginning!
I think it was the week after I returned from my mini vacation when things got a little overwhelming for me. I already posted the "closet- incident" but I think this might have been the actual start of it all. I can't really tell seperate stories about what happened because they all happened somewhat at the same time and they all belong together but I will use my neat little headline to categorize the different little happenings.
Cars
I think I already told you that my car didn't work in forever... (it works again now!) But since it wasn't working three weeks ago I had to take a train to Leipzig because of the things I will talk about later...
Angel on a train
So I was sitting on that train, reading a book and writing my little story (no, not at the same time...LOL). The train was late which is why a lot of people couldn't make their connection trains. The train staff told everyone their next possible connections but there was a lady that didn't understand a word since she didn't speak English. Her problem was that she really needed to get to Berlin because she had to catch a flight. She tried to tell the staff about her problem but they didn't understand her and she couldn't understand them. Well, and of course (I guess everyone would have done that!) I tried to help them by translating back and forth. To me it was the most natural thing to do but apparently the lady working on that train has never encountered a helpful person before. When I arrived at my destination and promised to take the non-German lady to her connection train the staff member looked at me, full of gratefulness and almost shouted: "You are an angel!" I think I blushed right away. You know how some people would say things like that without any deeper meaning... but that lady meant it. I could see it in her eyes and I could hear it in her voice. It was so touching and I was embarrassed- oh well.
Questions
Upon arriving back in Nordhausen the next day, I received a phone call from my friend Barbara. (Remember her? She is the director and co- founder of Boeme & Tochter, our theater group)She has been rehearsing a our new play (which opens Oct 2nd)with a groups of actors. I refused to be a part of it due to several reasons but now, that shortly before the premiere, there were some major changes among the cast and she begged me to take on a lead. Well... here I am now, 4 weeks away from the big day trying to get the part, the songs and everything else down. It's scary, but I guess it's life. The play is growing on me and I think it could seriously be good. I enjoy working with most of my fellow actors but above it all I am just super thrilled that Barb and I have such a great time together while working on it. It's awesome and I will keep you updated on everything as we go along.
Goodbye, Claudi!
The months have flown by and on August 19th it was time to say goodbye to my soulmate. She left for a semester abroad. She'll be studying at Kent State University in Ohio. I miss her so much already. It's incredible how you can get used to being around certain people and how much it hurts when they leave. I know that I will see her again and I hope she'll be having the time of her life. But nevertheless, she left an empty spot now that she is gone. She seriously can't be replaced. She is just one of a kind and I wish her all the best!!
Okay, I am really sorry that this was kind of a run through my past weeks but I am so busy and stressed out right now that I can't concentrate on giving details... I just wanna share the basics as of right now. Sorry for that!
Saturday, August 15, 2009
My closet just committed suicide and tried to kill me as well!
Oh my goodness... I am still shaking. Something really weird just happened. I was unpacking my last boxes in the living room when I heard a noise coming out of our extra room. I walked over to check out where that noise was coming from. I was standing in the middle of the room when all of a sudden my HUGE closet fell over (right onto me really) and smashed into the opposite wall... I jumped to the side. Thank Heaven I did! Wow, that was weird... now my apartment is messy again. My closet broke into 4-6 pieces, all of the stuff that was in there is scattered all over the room ... SCARY!
Monday, August 10, 2009
My mini- vacation might have been the best weekend of my entire life!
I can't believe my weekend, and therefore my mini-vacation, is over already! Time sure flies - especially when you are having the time of your life! Above you can find three pictures of Waren (Müritz), the city I went to. I didn't take those pictures myself, as you can maybe tell, I took them off the internet to show you the beauty of this place. (For those of you that live in Germany but have not been there yet: pack your bags and GO THERE!! Lol. It's so amazingly beautiful and totally worth a visit!)
Friday, August 7th:
I didn't sleep at all that night before leaving at around 5.30 am to go to the train station. My train left about an hour later and, of course, I was there too early but I had to get a train ticket anyways. Now, most of you know that I have spent tons and tons of money during my move and that I am literally broke now. That's why I wanted to use my credit card to buy the ticket in order to have at least 20 bucks or so for the weekend. BUT that stúpid machine wasn't able to process my credit card which is why I had to use my debit card. The ticket was around 70 bucks round trip and it really sucked because it meant that I didn't have a single cent on my account anymore... oh well, I couldn't change it so I used my debit card, got the ticket and waited another half hour for the train to arrive.
Since I knew I had about 6 hours of train ride and changing trains and stuff ahead of me, I decided to start writing a vacation diary (of course, I never finished it - in fact it only has one entry which you will find below!) So, the first thing I did while being on the train was writing this into my diary:
"6.28 am. I just started my mini-vacation. The train left Nordhausen 4 minutes ago and I am sitting here all by myself. The train heads towards a dusking sun and it couldn't be more beautiful. Even though it's still kinda cold out I'm fully prepared for summer: I am wearing shorts and a tank top. People looking at me right now would probably assume the right thing: I'm looking forward to spending time at the beach.
I didn't sleep at all last night which was probably not a good idea but I couldn't really help it. I pampered myself for hours though- I haven't done that in ages. I sat in the bath tub, reading a book, listening to music- it was wonderful and yet again I realized that being by myself is pretty awesome. I really, really, really enjoy my times of solitude and yet I am longing to be in the States all the time. It's weird because it's a contradiction really. Picturing myself in the States always involves people. It always involves being together with everyone...
The train just stopped in the middle of nowhere and I really start to wonder if something happened... man, that would SUCK big time. I have 2 or 3 connecting trains to catch! Who knows if I'll be able to manage... 5 minutes and counting now! Ugh! :("
Of course, all of my trains arrived late and I was constantly worried not to make it. BUT I did - I was totally exhausted when I arrived in Waren (Müritz) at 11.30 am. The moment I stepped out of the train I was so happy though. The air is just totally different. I could just tell I was near water and I was ecstatic. I took my little suitcase and walked up to the hospital where my friend Kathrin was still working. That Friday was her birthday which is why she got off work early to prepare the party and stuff. I walked up to her office, knocked and 2 seconds later we were both screaming, crying, hugging each other... we were soooo happy to finally see each other again!
We walked to her house and just sat in her backyard and talked for a little while (it wasn't quite the Italian Upper Sandusky feeling - but it came close to that!) before we started to get everything ready for the party that night.
Around 7 pm 25-30 people had arrived and it turned into a desaster- at least for me. I felt like I was the only person somewhat sober (not really, but compared to everyone else I was, I was constantly making sure everyone had something to drink, or I would clean up after certain people and stuff... I don't know. I mean, I had fun, but I surely didn't have a blast. By 2 am I decided to just go to bed - after all, I did have some sleep to catch up on! :)
Saturday, August 8th:
Little did I know, when I woke up around 1 pm, that this day would turn into the best day of my entire life. My goodness, I couldn't even really get up that morning. Kathrin and I had breakfast together and watched her husband clean the backyard. Kind of mean in a way, but then again I did my cleaning part... so nothing to be mad about. After he was done cleaning, we joined him outside and discussed what we wanted to do for the rest of the day. Thorsten, Kathrins hubby, wanted to go on their boat and sail away (talking about it always makes me wanna sing "I am sailing" by Rod Stewart...lol) but neither Kathrin nor I did really feel like doing that. I have to add that I once sailed with them and it was the worst water experience I ever had (mind you, water is not my friend - never has, never will be!). So, anyway, Thorsten was getting really mad at us for not wanting to go with him which was pretty childish (he is 44 - grow up!). I finally said that he could just go by himself and have fun... (you have to know, he likes to know exactly what his wife is doing!). He seriously left, without saying goodbye or anything. But Kathrin and I didn't really care... we showered and went into the old city center, actually right to the harbor, to have a coffee. We actually had one coffee and then each of us had two glasses of wine... the atmosphere was beautiful. We were sitting in a cafe overlooking water and just enjoying ourselves. I got so overwhelmed by the beauty of this moment that I seriously had to fight back tears. In moments like these I keep thinking about my favorite Americans and what a shame it is that they will never be able to see this, they will never be able to share this amazing sight with me. It really is sad in a way.
By 10 pm we actually wanted to head back home, but by coincidence we ran into people that told us about live music in a bar that we would have to pass anyways on our way home. We ended up staying in that bar until they closed around 2 am. It was so much fun. We had WAY too many beers... and at least Germans know the saying that you shouldn't drink beer on top of wine. Well... when I tried to get up from that bar stool I knew why - I couldn't walk anymore. Partly because I was laughing so hard, but I guess the alcohol really didn't help. Hehe. We walked home, which was only a 3minute walk, and sat down in their backyard again to drink some more... wow, now that I think about it it was a lot of drinking. But Kathrin and I were able to spill our hearts to each other that night- something that is pure luxury for us since our husbands are childhood friends and always make sure that we don't get to spend as much "girl's only" time with each other. (It's a pain in the butt - I can tell you that much!)Well, anyways, so we could just really be honest about where we stand in our marriages. It's great to have someone like Kathrin that is practically married to the same type of person because I don't have to explain anything. She just knows... and it's great to hear someone have the same problems. It really helped me to put a lot of things into perspective and to start thinking about what I wanna do about the issues we have.
Sunday, August 9th:
When I woke up I puked three times in a row. I guess it was my punishment for acting up the night before. I am sure I deserved this, but I have to say it was all worth it.
Sunday was the day I had to leave again and it felt so unfair. I mean, I know I will be back there in 3 weeks because my mother-in-law is celebrating her birthday (she lives there as well and NO, I didn't go see her....I know I am mean!) but it's not gonna be the same since Matthias will be with me and even my parents will stop by. That will mean it's pure stress and it won't have anything to do with vacation, that's for sure!
Anyway, I left around 5.30 pm and didn't get back to Nordhausen until after midnight.
I'm really sad my mini-vacation is over but I know I can live off the fun I had for quite a while. :)
Friday, August 7, 2009
VACATION!!!
Okay, I have another hour until I need to go to the train station... I did not sleep at all tonight. I am so excited to get away from everything and to finally see my Kathrin again - I miss her so much. I just know that she probably couldn't sleep either and that she just cannot wait until it is 12 pm and I come and pick her up from work... it's gonna be great!!
Wish you all a very good weekend... I'll be in heaven the whole time, I just know it. YAY!
Wish you all a very good weekend... I'll be in heaven the whole time, I just know it. YAY!
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Celebrating the 100th blog post...
Wow, I knew the day would come when I get to celebrate this VERY SPECIAL EVENT of having posted 100 blog posts. LOL. I always wanted to think of something to write, something really profound, something insightful, something mindblowing even... but now that I have reached this point my mind just totally goes blank and I can't think of anything smart to say. (What a surprise.. hehe)
There is one thing I really want to say though: I always thought I just wouldn't care if people read this or not but I have learned that quite a number of people read my blog on a regular basis - which is awesome. I just really wanna thank YOU, my dearest readers, for putting up with my crap, my nonsense, my over the top dreams and expectations, my moods and emotions ... and, well thanks for putting up with me. :)
I love you guys!!
There is one thing I really want to say though: I always thought I just wouldn't care if people read this or not but I have learned that quite a number of people read my blog on a regular basis - which is awesome. I just really wanna thank YOU, my dearest readers, for putting up with my crap, my nonsense, my over the top dreams and expectations, my moods and emotions ... and, well thanks for putting up with me. :)
I love you guys!!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
My Golden Girls
I just got back from a night out with my "Golden Girls". I haven't had that much fun in a long time. I'm still cracking up about them. I'm a LITTLE tipsy, to say the least.
Wonder who my Golden Girls are? Well, I met them through Matthias a couple of years ago and there are my only real friends here in Nordhausen. Both of them are like 25 years older than me and I really have to say: you just cannot tell. LOL. Oh, they're so much fun to be around. And it's wonderful to spend time with them because we actually have things to say to each other. How often did I wonder, while spending time with people my age, what the heck I am supposed to talk to them about. People my age mostly (there are exceptions, of course...) didn't even reach the point of knowing who they are and what they want. I am so tired of people living in their little bubble... I need substance in a friendship. Substance and REAL things to talk about.
This weekend I will be going on my very own mini- vacation. One of my friends (she is 46 by the way- notice a pattern? LOL) is celebrating her birthday and I can't wait to have fun and spend time at the beach... it's gonna be great, or as Linds would say: it's gonna be FABULOUS! Hehe. Will tell you all about it on here... hope to be able to post some pictures (as soon as I finally find the charger for my camera...).
Wonder who my Golden Girls are? Well, I met them through Matthias a couple of years ago and there are my only real friends here in Nordhausen. Both of them are like 25 years older than me and I really have to say: you just cannot tell. LOL. Oh, they're so much fun to be around. And it's wonderful to spend time with them because we actually have things to say to each other. How often did I wonder, while spending time with people my age, what the heck I am supposed to talk to them about. People my age mostly (there are exceptions, of course...) didn't even reach the point of knowing who they are and what they want. I am so tired of people living in their little bubble... I need substance in a friendship. Substance and REAL things to talk about.
This weekend I will be going on my very own mini- vacation. One of my friends (she is 46 by the way- notice a pattern? LOL) is celebrating her birthday and I can't wait to have fun and spend time at the beach... it's gonna be great, or as Linds would say: it's gonna be FABULOUS! Hehe. Will tell you all about it on here... hope to be able to post some pictures (as soon as I finally find the charger for my camera...).
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Very wise (and true) words...
"I’m like every other actor, I’ve been unemployed more than I’ve been working. Actors just have a lot of down time. So I’ve never gotten used to being out of work. It’s a very uncertain life and there are only a few people that would sign up to be married to somebody who’s an actor. My husband’s an artist and he understands that, the vagaries of the job. I just take every day as a miracle and I’m really glad that I’m still working and that people are not sick of me, even though even I’m sick of me a little bit." (Meryl Streep)
There is nothing I can add to this. I understand that most of you out there don't really get the life that Matthias and I are living. I know that some of you are trying hard to understand it but I guess you will never be able to fully comprehend what it means to have a job like this. And, it's fine. I know you will never be able to grasp it because it is a totally different world with different worries and expectations. But, please, be aware of the fact that you can't keep on judging our life like some have done in the past. It's not fair. And, I am sick and tired of explaining and having to defend myself for it.
There is nothing I can add to this. I understand that most of you out there don't really get the life that Matthias and I are living. I know that some of you are trying hard to understand it but I guess you will never be able to fully comprehend what it means to have a job like this. And, it's fine. I know you will never be able to grasp it because it is a totally different world with different worries and expectations. But, please, be aware of the fact that you can't keep on judging our life like some have done in the past. It's not fair. And, I am sick and tired of explaining and having to defend myself for it.
Happy 25th anniversary!
My parents are celebrating their 25th anniversary today. They are in Venice, Italy getting ready for an all American photo shoot. ;)
This picture was taken at my wedding 3 years ago... my brother and stepdaughter are in it as well.
This picture was taken at my wedding 3 years ago... my brother and stepdaughter are in it as well.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Awww, that brings back WONDERFUL memories
Found MY song from "Once upon a mattress" (the play we did at Mohawk in 2002)...
Oh how I miss my Queenie....;)
Oh how I miss my Queenie....;)
Oh, and how YOU came to my rescue....
Whenever I hear this song I have to think about how GOD sent me my American family. So wonderful... they came to my rescue. I know it was all GOD's plan for me. HE knew that I would let them in my life and my heart to finally be able to love and trust in HIM.
Changes and adjustments
Well, I know that some of you (CLAUDI - LOL) get so tired of reading about my move that I am VERY HAPPY to announce that I will no longer talk about it. I returned the keys to my apartment in Leipzig (left it crying) and I am now back in Nordhausen to unpack my boxes - no more details about this. I PROMISE! ;)
But, sorry Claudi, MOVING is THE topic this weekend. It's truly crazy. So many of my friends start new chapters of their lives RIGHT NOW that I just wanna spend a couple of minutes talking about it. I didn't sleep at all last night. I am constantly worried about everyone. I hate sitting here not being able to help them AT ALL. Last night, I went back and forth from praying to weeping to praying to weeping... I feel like I am emotionally drained right now and I don't even wanna start thinking about how THEY (or YOU since most of the people I am talking about are reading this blog) might feel.
So, who do we have here? Leslie is in Malaysia right now. She has a layover there on her way to Paris, France. Leslie has lived in Japan for the last year and is now returning back to the US (with a short vacation in Paris and Ireland). I just talked to her via Skype and am thrilled to find her in good health. Her plane to Paris will be leaving in like 2 hours or so...
Brent probably just hit the road to drive up to Tillsonburg, Canada. (I seriously can't say more about it... I know you all know how I feel about this... so let's just leave it at that.)
Brent's sister Heather will be moving to Japan for 3 years in September, I think. (Leslie, you're probably reading this and thinking: "3 YEARS!? Oh goodness..." LOL)
And then there is Claudi (Yes, girl, YOU are MOVING in a way, too!). Claudi will be leaving for her semester abroad at Kent State in OHIO (Noooo, I am so not jealous...LOL)in less than 3 weeks.
And yes, I just ended one chapter of my life as well... so we ALL are going through times of changes and adjustments right now. It won't always be easy but I know we will all learn to appreciate it. (Leslie, I know you're more than excited to go back home!)
Praying that we will all be sound and safe and happy. Can't wait to hear all of your stories, guys!! Awesome things will happen along our paths, I know that.
May GOD bless all of you!
But, sorry Claudi, MOVING is THE topic this weekend. It's truly crazy. So many of my friends start new chapters of their lives RIGHT NOW that I just wanna spend a couple of minutes talking about it. I didn't sleep at all last night. I am constantly worried about everyone. I hate sitting here not being able to help them AT ALL. Last night, I went back and forth from praying to weeping to praying to weeping... I feel like I am emotionally drained right now and I don't even wanna start thinking about how THEY (or YOU since most of the people I am talking about are reading this blog) might feel.
So, who do we have here? Leslie is in Malaysia right now. She has a layover there on her way to Paris, France. Leslie has lived in Japan for the last year and is now returning back to the US (with a short vacation in Paris and Ireland). I just talked to her via Skype and am thrilled to find her in good health. Her plane to Paris will be leaving in like 2 hours or so...
Brent probably just hit the road to drive up to Tillsonburg, Canada. (I seriously can't say more about it... I know you all know how I feel about this... so let's just leave it at that.)
Brent's sister Heather will be moving to Japan for 3 years in September, I think. (Leslie, you're probably reading this and thinking: "3 YEARS!? Oh goodness..." LOL)
And then there is Claudi (Yes, girl, YOU are MOVING in a way, too!). Claudi will be leaving for her semester abroad at Kent State in OHIO (Noooo, I am so not jealous...LOL)in less than 3 weeks.
And yes, I just ended one chapter of my life as well... so we ALL are going through times of changes and adjustments right now. It won't always be easy but I know we will all learn to appreciate it. (Leslie, I know you're more than excited to go back home!)
Praying that we will all be sound and safe and happy. Can't wait to hear all of your stories, guys!! Awesome things will happen along our paths, I know that.
May GOD bless all of you!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
It's finally over (almost) - the big move within 6 hours
I am MAJORLY exhausted right now. Today was just a hard day. I kinda still can't believe that we actually managed to move all of my stuff from one apartment and one city to my other apartment and another city in just 6 hours!!!
We got up pretty early this morning. We had breakfast around 8.30 am. Claudi and Daniel arrived at my apartment around the same time - we were kinda not doing anything for a little bit because we had to wait until we could get the transporter which was around 10 am.
It took the 6 of us an hour and a half to load the transporter - I was surprised. We then drove to Nordhausen with a transporter and two cars and got here around 2 or something.
By 5 pm I was already all by myself... well, it's me and 42 boxes in my apartment...
I am glad it's over. I have a whole month now to unpack all of this stuff since Matthi won't be home anyways to bitch about not being able to walk around in his apartment. Lol.
Going back to Leipzig by Tuesday to clean the old apartment... feels like cleaning is all I ever do anymore...
We got up pretty early this morning. We had breakfast around 8.30 am. Claudi and Daniel arrived at my apartment around the same time - we were kinda not doing anything for a little bit because we had to wait until we could get the transporter which was around 10 am.
It took the 6 of us an hour and a half to load the transporter - I was surprised. We then drove to Nordhausen with a transporter and two cars and got here around 2 or something.
By 5 pm I was already all by myself... well, it's me and 42 boxes in my apartment...
I am glad it's over. I have a whole month now to unpack all of this stuff since Matthi won't be home anyways to bitch about not being able to walk around in his apartment. Lol.
Going back to Leipzig by Tuesday to clean the old apartment... feels like cleaning is all I ever do anymore...
Saturday, July 25, 2009
42 boxes and 31 pieces of furniture
Packing is DONE!! I can't believe we managed to get it all done. I have friends over that helped me and now we're off to hit the bars to celebrate.
The actual move starts tomorrow at 10 am.
The actual move starts tomorrow at 10 am.
Friday, July 24, 2009
A must-have-dress and life without a TV
I know, this is post #4 today, but it's well worth it to keep you updated on this crazy day...
After my last blog post was published I went into town to have a coffee. Julia was working and I wanted to say hi and just relax a little. I had just finished my first coffee [grande vanilla latte, as always] when Claudi walked in. The moment I saw her, I knew this was going to be a great day. I mean, the coincidence to run into each other in a city with over half a million inhabitants is just amazing... we had another coffee together and then decided to go buy my dress.
We walked into the store just to find that they couldn't order the size I needed. I was devastated and I think the sales person got a little scared because I INSISTED on this dress IN MY SIZE. Lol. I mean, I had set my mind on it and it HAD to be THIS dress. I couldn't believe that my size was sold out NATIONWIDE!! I instantly thought: "Okay, maybe this is my sign that going back home in November will not work out!" I seriously wanted to start crying but Claudi and two really nice ladies tried to convince me to try the bigger size again. I did [by the way it was a size 14, in words fourteen - I HAVE NEVER WORN A FLIPPIN' SIZE 14!!!!!!]. Not surprisingly it was "a little big". Since it is a strapless dress, I was just kinda worried to be comletely naked by the end of the wedding. But Claudi had a great idea: we added straps and all of a sudden IT FIT PERFECTLY!!! It was amazing, I mean I would have never guessed that straps can make such a difference... I still think it's kinda weird, but I was just THRILLED. We added a little jacket [yes, I am aware of the fact that it will be NOVEMBER = winter and btw: the size of the jacket was a 10!!] to complete this wonderful little outfit... I AM SOOOOOO EXCITED! And I got even more excited when I heard the AWESOME PRICE FOR THE ENTIRE OUTFIT: it was only about 90 bucks [that is US- Dollars] - originally it used to be a little over 200 US-Dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wonderful...
I wanted to hug abd kiss everyone in that store on the way out, I carried my bag like a little baby... I was in heaven- still am. After Claudi donated some of her blood we had "champagne on the rocks" to celebrate this awesome outfit. We were reeeeeeeeeeally tipsy after just one drink but we had a lot of fun anyways.
I headed to the main station to meet up with Julia and her boyfriend [who does not like my desk - lol]. They helped me to put some stuff in boxes and take down pictures and such.
Now, I am sitting here and the silence in this apartment is driving me insane. I decided to re-connect the TV...it is so much better now. I am trying to get used to the echoing in my apartment though since there isn't that much furniture left in here. BUT THERE IS SO MUCH DIRT. It is nasty and I am so not looking forward to cleaning it early tomorrow morning.
Claudi will be over for breakfast and then 3 of my other friends are driving 3 hours to help me move on Sunday. They will be getting here by tomorrow night... hope they bring beer. Lol.
I am chillaxing now - don't feel like doing anything else besides being happy about my dress. Hehe. ;)
After my last blog post was published I went into town to have a coffee. Julia was working and I wanted to say hi and just relax a little. I had just finished my first coffee [grande vanilla latte, as always] when Claudi walked in. The moment I saw her, I knew this was going to be a great day. I mean, the coincidence to run into each other in a city with over half a million inhabitants is just amazing... we had another coffee together and then decided to go buy my dress.
We walked into the store just to find that they couldn't order the size I needed. I was devastated and I think the sales person got a little scared because I INSISTED on this dress IN MY SIZE. Lol. I mean, I had set my mind on it and it HAD to be THIS dress. I couldn't believe that my size was sold out NATIONWIDE!! I instantly thought: "Okay, maybe this is my sign that going back home in November will not work out!" I seriously wanted to start crying but Claudi and two really nice ladies tried to convince me to try the bigger size again. I did [by the way it was a size 14, in words fourteen - I HAVE NEVER WORN A FLIPPIN' SIZE 14!!!!!!]. Not surprisingly it was "a little big". Since it is a strapless dress, I was just kinda worried to be comletely naked by the end of the wedding. But Claudi had a great idea: we added straps and all of a sudden IT FIT PERFECTLY!!! It was amazing, I mean I would have never guessed that straps can make such a difference... I still think it's kinda weird, but I was just THRILLED. We added a little jacket [yes, I am aware of the fact that it will be NOVEMBER = winter and btw: the size of the jacket was a 10!!] to complete this wonderful little outfit... I AM SOOOOOO EXCITED! And I got even more excited when I heard the AWESOME PRICE FOR THE ENTIRE OUTFIT: it was only about 90 bucks [that is US- Dollars] - originally it used to be a little over 200 US-Dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wonderful...
I wanted to hug abd kiss everyone in that store on the way out, I carried my bag like a little baby... I was in heaven- still am. After Claudi donated some of her blood we had "champagne on the rocks" to celebrate this awesome outfit. We were reeeeeeeeeeally tipsy after just one drink but we had a lot of fun anyways.
I headed to the main station to meet up with Julia and her boyfriend [who does not like my desk - lol]. They helped me to put some stuff in boxes and take down pictures and such.
Now, I am sitting here and the silence in this apartment is driving me insane. I decided to re-connect the TV...it is so much better now. I am trying to get used to the echoing in my apartment though since there isn't that much furniture left in here. BUT THERE IS SO MUCH DIRT. It is nasty and I am so not looking forward to cleaning it early tomorrow morning.
Claudi will be over for breakfast and then 3 of my other friends are driving 3 hours to help me move on Sunday. They will be getting here by tomorrow night... hope they bring beer. Lol.
I am chillaxing now - don't feel like doing anything else besides being happy about my dress. Hehe. ;)
And another moving update
It's done... my bed and some of my other stuff is out of the apartment. Now it's really dusty and incredibly dirty here... and my apartment already looks so empty - even though there is still so much stuff in here.
It started raining, no pouring, once we loaded the furniture in their car... it hasn't stopped ever since. I feel like I am getting depressed even more now.
Time to cheer up, get a coffee, return my book and BUY MY DRESS!
Julia and her boyfriend Andreas [aka Apes] will come over later to help me... hopefully Apes is gonna like my desk - I so wanna get rid of it. And he would be my number one choice to give it to.
It started raining, no pouring, once we loaded the furniture in their car... it hasn't stopped ever since. I feel like I am getting depressed even more now.
Time to cheer up, get a coffee, return my book and BUY MY DRESS!
Julia and her boyfriend Andreas [aka Apes] will come over later to help me... hopefully Apes is gonna like my desk - I so wanna get rid of it. And he would be my number one choice to give it to.
"Wide Open Spaces" [Dixie Chicks]
Sorry, it's me again... since I don't have cable anymore and thus cannot watch retarded German TV, I am listening to music on my laptop - I haven't done that in ages. I actually found a playlist I created back in the days...
One of the songs is "Wide Open Spaces". This song is my Germarican-life-theme-song. LOL. Listening to it made me even more homesick and depressed now, but I think I also found the reason as to why I hate moving so much. I seriously think that I would feel so much better if I knew that I am giving up my apartment because I am done with my undergrad studies and about to start my grad studies in the US.
How awesome would it be to move to the States now...even if it is "only" for a little over 2 years. That'd be so awesome...and I wouldn't have to take any of these boxes I packed with me. I probably would only bring two suitcases and then go from there. Lol. Ooooookay, maybe I would have one or two boxes shipped to the States, but not more than that....
Why am I even talking about this? I don't know...
One of the songs is "Wide Open Spaces". This song is my Germarican-life-theme-song. LOL. Listening to it made me even more homesick and depressed now, but I think I also found the reason as to why I hate moving so much. I seriously think that I would feel so much better if I knew that I am giving up my apartment because I am done with my undergrad studies and about to start my grad studies in the US.
How awesome would it be to move to the States now...even if it is "only" for a little over 2 years. That'd be so awesome...and I wouldn't have to take any of these boxes I packed with me. I probably would only bring two suitcases and then go from there. Lol. Ooooookay, maybe I would have one or two boxes shipped to the States, but not more than that....
Why am I even talking about this? I don't know...
No more this and that.
Good morning, Germany... it is 9 am and I have been wide awake for almost 3 hours now. CRAZY. I only slept for like 2.5 hours. I am really nervous since this whole moving thing will be taken to the next level today: one of my High School friend's sister is stopping by to get my bed, two closets [I still don't know if this is even the right word for what it is... Americans don't have it. Hmmm.], a sideboard and some kitchen appliances. It's so weird to know that some of my belongings will forever be gone.
[BTW: Switchfoot is singing a song to me right now and every second word is "gone".]
I am sitting here on my couch, I have no coffee table anymore because my TV is "parking" on it. Speaking of which: I already disconnected my cable, so no more TV for me in this apartment. [I am addicted to it, what am I gonna do until Sunday??] My DVD player is disconnected as well... so I guess I will be even more addicted to my internet - thank goodness for laptops!! ;)
After the furniture will be out of my apartment around noon today, I will have to run into town to finally return my book to the library - I am already 3 weeks late, which is a lot of fun considering the fact that late fees are ridiculous around here. After that, I am planning on having a coffee and relaxing a little before I am heading to my new favorite store to buy MY DRESS.
Have I talked about my dress before? I don't even remember...I know it is a hot topic on facebook, but I am not sure if I talked about it on here. So sorry if I have. Anyway, I found THE dress for the wedding in November...oh my goodness, it is soooooooooooooo awesome. It is exactly what I had in mind. Unfortunately, they didn't have my size when I discovered it last week. But they ordered my size and hopefully it will fit me today. You know what the best part is: the dress is on sale!!! YES, it is PERFECT. I am in love with a dress, I really am.
Ugh, two more hours until they pick up the stuff... what am I doing until then? Okay, I could keep on packing but since my apartment is so tiny I am afraid they're gonna have major difficulties to carry everything out of my place without breaking anything else...
I wanna be done moving....
[BTW: Switchfoot is singing a song to me right now and every second word is "gone".]
I am sitting here on my couch, I have no coffee table anymore because my TV is "parking" on it. Speaking of which: I already disconnected my cable, so no more TV for me in this apartment. [I am addicted to it, what am I gonna do until Sunday??] My DVD player is disconnected as well... so I guess I will be even more addicted to my internet - thank goodness for laptops!! ;)
After the furniture will be out of my apartment around noon today, I will have to run into town to finally return my book to the library - I am already 3 weeks late, which is a lot of fun considering the fact that late fees are ridiculous around here. After that, I am planning on having a coffee and relaxing a little before I am heading to my new favorite store to buy MY DRESS.
Have I talked about my dress before? I don't even remember...I know it is a hot topic on facebook, but I am not sure if I talked about it on here. So sorry if I have. Anyway, I found THE dress for the wedding in November...oh my goodness, it is soooooooooooooo awesome. It is exactly what I had in mind. Unfortunately, they didn't have my size when I discovered it last week. But they ordered my size and hopefully it will fit me today. You know what the best part is: the dress is on sale!!! YES, it is PERFECT. I am in love with a dress, I really am.
Ugh, two more hours until they pick up the stuff... what am I doing until then? Okay, I could keep on packing but since my apartment is so tiny I am afraid they're gonna have major difficulties to carry everything out of my place without breaking anything else...
I wanna be done moving....
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
From Wedding Invitations and Obituaries...
I am still trying to put my past into boxes. I have now officially reached the point of HATING the process of moving. I am sitting here, at almost 2 am, surrounded by boxes, trash, holes in the walls ... I could go on and on. I started wondering why I thought I could do it all by myself. My friend Barb came over to help me for a little bit today and I know that the weekend will provide friendly helpers. But as of right now, I am trying to do it all by myself. Matthi is working, my parents are working, my friends are on their summer break, working or occupied with tons of other things. I guess this is just the perfect time to end one chapter of my life to start a new one... yeah, right, who am I kidding here???
Anyways, I know I will somehow manage to do it all. Right now, however, it just seems so far away. I feel like the deadline (July 31st) is approaching way too fast to be able to transport all the boxes, all of the furniture AND to be able to afford this move. I seriously can't believe how expensive all of this is... and I don't even wanna start thinking about how expensive the next semester will be due to commuting to college and stuff.
Oh well, I guess the hardest part, as of right now, is working my way through all of my belongings. I am seriously trying to throw as much stuff away as possible, but it's so hard sometimes. I don't want to throw precious memories away, even though I know that I can't use letters and presents and things like that anymore.
While sorting all of my letters I found the invitation to Lindsay's and Brent's wedding back in 2004. It was still addressed to "Miss Lilly Rompf" and it was so odd to read my maiden name (even though it was still my name in 2004). I'm so not used to reading or hearing my maiden name anymore. I mean, it will only be 3 years in September but I got so used to Mitteldorf (surprisingly everyone got used to it pretty fast except for my parents - LOL). It was kinda cool to read the invite again. I remember all I wanted was to attend that wedding and I begged my parents but I had exams (for my High School Diploma in Germany) around that time and there was NO WAY I could have made it. I'm still so sad about it though. Pam sent me tons of weddings pics via email and I will never forget what she wrote in that email: "So sad you couldn't make it. But we understand." That made me cry. I don't know, it really did. And, of course, looking at the pictures and seeing Linds - so happy and joyful on her very special day- and knowing I wasn't there to share it with her...ugh, that was hard. Still is. Linds sometimes jokes about how I never got her a wedding gift...she can be such a brat. LOL. Well, yeah, I never did... it's true. BUT who knows...maybe it will happen at some point. Hehe.
On a not so happy note: I also found a letter from Denise, Donna's (my host mother) daughter. She sent a letter to all of Donna's exchange students after Donna had passed away in 2004. I was kinda shocked to find it, to be honest. It's not that I had forgotten about it but I guess I just didn't wanna think about it for so long and that's why it totally slipped my mind. Horrible, I know. But I have never been able to "properly deal with death". Donna and I were never as close to each other as I would have hoped for. But still, I lived in her house and witnessed her suffering and I think part of the reason why I never changed host families was that I didn't want her to be alone. I mean, she wasn't alone, but no one was living with her and I just kinda always felt like she needed my help and it would be the most horrible thing to leave her in this situation. In the end, I guess, I did leave her. I still feel bad that I haven't told her things I wanted to tell her. (Well, that's probably always the case, I guess.)
I surely can't throw both of those letters away. Let's wait and see if I find some more interesting stuff - I am pretty sure I will. ;)
Anyways, I know I will somehow manage to do it all. Right now, however, it just seems so far away. I feel like the deadline (July 31st) is approaching way too fast to be able to transport all the boxes, all of the furniture AND to be able to afford this move. I seriously can't believe how expensive all of this is... and I don't even wanna start thinking about how expensive the next semester will be due to commuting to college and stuff.
Oh well, I guess the hardest part, as of right now, is working my way through all of my belongings. I am seriously trying to throw as much stuff away as possible, but it's so hard sometimes. I don't want to throw precious memories away, even though I know that I can't use letters and presents and things like that anymore.
While sorting all of my letters I found the invitation to Lindsay's and Brent's wedding back in 2004. It was still addressed to "Miss Lilly Rompf" and it was so odd to read my maiden name (even though it was still my name in 2004). I'm so not used to reading or hearing my maiden name anymore. I mean, it will only be 3 years in September but I got so used to Mitteldorf (surprisingly everyone got used to it pretty fast except for my parents - LOL). It was kinda cool to read the invite again. I remember all I wanted was to attend that wedding and I begged my parents but I had exams (for my High School Diploma in Germany) around that time and there was NO WAY I could have made it. I'm still so sad about it though. Pam sent me tons of weddings pics via email and I will never forget what she wrote in that email: "So sad you couldn't make it. But we understand." That made me cry. I don't know, it really did. And, of course, looking at the pictures and seeing Linds - so happy and joyful on her very special day- and knowing I wasn't there to share it with her...ugh, that was hard. Still is. Linds sometimes jokes about how I never got her a wedding gift...she can be such a brat. LOL. Well, yeah, I never did... it's true. BUT who knows...maybe it will happen at some point. Hehe.
On a not so happy note: I also found a letter from Denise, Donna's (my host mother) daughter. She sent a letter to all of Donna's exchange students after Donna had passed away in 2004. I was kinda shocked to find it, to be honest. It's not that I had forgotten about it but I guess I just didn't wanna think about it for so long and that's why it totally slipped my mind. Horrible, I know. But I have never been able to "properly deal with death". Donna and I were never as close to each other as I would have hoped for. But still, I lived in her house and witnessed her suffering and I think part of the reason why I never changed host families was that I didn't want her to be alone. I mean, she wasn't alone, but no one was living with her and I just kinda always felt like she needed my help and it would be the most horrible thing to leave her in this situation. In the end, I guess, I did leave her. I still feel bad that I haven't told her things I wanted to tell her. (Well, that's probably always the case, I guess.)
I surely can't throw both of those letters away. Let's wait and see if I find some more interesting stuff - I am pretty sure I will. ;)
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
July 14th, 2001
Today is "MY USA- anniversary". Actually... there are two anniversaries. 8 years ago, on July 14th in 2001, I started my foreign exchange year AND on that same day I met one of my closest friends: Jeanny.
Jeanny wrote me a text message this morning, reminding me of this special day, and I have to admit I seriously almost forgot that it was today. Oh well, I am glad she reminded me... (I can't believe I forgot it, I am so good about dates and stuff - weird!)
I remember that day like it was yesterday. We had to get up early to make it to the aiport in Hannover on time. I sat in my parent's kitchen, having breakfast (I was extremely calm given the fact that I would go abroad for a year!) and both of my parents were crying. I knew my Mom was gonna cry, but seeing my Dad really broke my heart. But I was too excited about everything to actually really let it get to me. My brother, he was 12 back then, could care less- well, at least that's what ot looked like. I know he missed me. My parents gave me a card and pictures of the whole family, which was neat but I didn't really appreciate it until I was in the States.
On the way to the airport my Mom held my hand the whole time. It was raining pretty hard and I remember having the feeling that everyone was crying, except for me. This may sound horrible, but think about it: I had a big adventure ahead of me. I was so looking forward to experiencing it all. I wasn't sad I had to leave. I wanted to leave, I wanted to go and see the world. Is that bad?
The whole airport thing got on my nerves. It seemed to take forever until I could finally board the plane. Saying goodbye to my family was okay. It wasn't as hard for me, I guess partially due to the fact that I couldn't quite grasp what it means to be away for that long. (I mean, in the end my time abroad wasn't all that long at all. Time flew by and if it would have been up to me, I would have stayed forever...)But anyway, I finally made it to the States. We landed in Boston (I think, now that I try to remember everything I am not so sure if it really was Boston. But I am pretty sure) and shuttle busses picked up all of the exchange students. They brought us to Norwich University, which is where we had our Orientation Camp for 2 weeks.
I met Jeanny right before we got on the busses. I liked her, she didn't like me. Lol. Well, I thought she was arrogant but turns out she is not. We started talking on our way to camp and we pretty much became siamese twins. Lol. Camp was a lot of fun, especially because of her.
Two weeks later, on Jeanny's birthday, we had to say goodbye. She went to Oklahoma, and I flew to Ohio. It was so hard to say goodbye to her. I cried!! I couldn't stop crying.
I am so glad we kept in touch. Even though we don't live that close, we still manage to see each other every now and then. I think our closeness clearly derives from this shared experience of being aborad. She didn't have it quite as good as I did. She changed her host family. But we both love the States and cherish our memories together.
I am celebrating this special day all by myself. But that's okay. When I told Matthias about today (we just spoke on the phone) he couldn't care less. Oh well... I guess he can't really understand this whole thing. Of course, he can't.
Jeanny wrote me a text message this morning, reminding me of this special day, and I have to admit I seriously almost forgot that it was today. Oh well, I am glad she reminded me... (I can't believe I forgot it, I am so good about dates and stuff - weird!)
I remember that day like it was yesterday. We had to get up early to make it to the aiport in Hannover on time. I sat in my parent's kitchen, having breakfast (I was extremely calm given the fact that I would go abroad for a year!) and both of my parents were crying. I knew my Mom was gonna cry, but seeing my Dad really broke my heart. But I was too excited about everything to actually really let it get to me. My brother, he was 12 back then, could care less- well, at least that's what ot looked like. I know he missed me. My parents gave me a card and pictures of the whole family, which was neat but I didn't really appreciate it until I was in the States.
On the way to the airport my Mom held my hand the whole time. It was raining pretty hard and I remember having the feeling that everyone was crying, except for me. This may sound horrible, but think about it: I had a big adventure ahead of me. I was so looking forward to experiencing it all. I wasn't sad I had to leave. I wanted to leave, I wanted to go and see the world. Is that bad?
The whole airport thing got on my nerves. It seemed to take forever until I could finally board the plane. Saying goodbye to my family was okay. It wasn't as hard for me, I guess partially due to the fact that I couldn't quite grasp what it means to be away for that long. (I mean, in the end my time abroad wasn't all that long at all. Time flew by and if it would have been up to me, I would have stayed forever...)But anyway, I finally made it to the States. We landed in Boston (I think, now that I try to remember everything I am not so sure if it really was Boston. But I am pretty sure) and shuttle busses picked up all of the exchange students. They brought us to Norwich University, which is where we had our Orientation Camp for 2 weeks.
I met Jeanny right before we got on the busses. I liked her, she didn't like me. Lol. Well, I thought she was arrogant but turns out she is not. We started talking on our way to camp and we pretty much became siamese twins. Lol. Camp was a lot of fun, especially because of her.
Two weeks later, on Jeanny's birthday, we had to say goodbye. She went to Oklahoma, and I flew to Ohio. It was so hard to say goodbye to her. I cried!! I couldn't stop crying.
I am so glad we kept in touch. Even though we don't live that close, we still manage to see each other every now and then. I think our closeness clearly derives from this shared experience of being aborad. She didn't have it quite as good as I did. She changed her host family. But we both love the States and cherish our memories together.
I am celebrating this special day all by myself. But that's okay. When I told Matthias about today (we just spoke on the phone) he couldn't care less. Oh well... I guess he can't really understand this whole thing. Of course, he can't.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Remember when...?
I cleaned my apartment for four hours straight today. I had people looking at my place to maybe rent it, and I figured I might as well show them a clean and neatly organized little place. (Everyone who knows me is aware of the fact that my place is NEVER organized, I live in chaos and I love it!)
I started throwing stuff away (my heart is still bleeding!)and I found tons of stuff that I had almost forgotten about. It was pretty emotional, especially when I found some pictures of my graduation in the States. I looked through them and all of a sudden I almost stopped breathing for a second because I found a picture of me (in my cap and gown), Linds and Pam and Jerry. The minute I saw that picture I seriously had a flashback and I remembered my graduation like it was yesterday. I remember that Pam and Jerry went on a camping trip or something right before my graduation and we had already said our goodbyes (because I left the States pretty much only a couple of days upon graduating). I didn't think I would see them again. My graduation ceremony was over and Linds, Jaron (My goodness, looking at that picture of Poopy and me was just mindblowing- he has certainly changed a lot over the past 8 years!) and I were talking when Pam and Jerry walked in. I remember that I was pretty surprised and I think I said something stupid like, "What are you doing here?" LOL. It was awesome to see them at my graduation and it meant a lot to me. (Still does...)It's so funny to look at that picture of the four of us. I seriously have to remind myself that it was taken 7 years ago!!! Pam and Jerry look EXACTLY the same- I don't know how they did that, but they really do. By the way, there are only two pictures of me and Pam and Jerry- the one at my graduation and a picture we took in 2007 when I stopped by for a couple of hours. It's weird... why aren't there any more pictures???
I also found tons of pictures that Pam took of Linds and I. I remember that day when we took the pictures. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining, it was pretty warm, only a little windy. We had so much fun taking these pictures. Linds and I were still so girly... I mean, we were in school and we had nothing to worry about. The reality of life had not impacted us yet and we could just enjoy that day. No worries, no regrets... it was amazing. Really miss that feeling in a way. We were just crazy, in a good way I might add, we just let go and did stupid stuff and goofed around... I am so glad I have these pictures. It brings back really good memories and the feeling of a happy and easy life. (Whoa, that sounds dramatic...LOL)
I'll keep remembering the "good old days" - and I know there are memories in the making to remember in 8 years. And I am pretty sure I will have the same feelings about my past again = I AM HOMESICK!!! ;)
I guess I will never be too old to be homesick. That's good, at least THAT will stay the same. Hehe.
I started throwing stuff away (my heart is still bleeding!)and I found tons of stuff that I had almost forgotten about. It was pretty emotional, especially when I found some pictures of my graduation in the States. I looked through them and all of a sudden I almost stopped breathing for a second because I found a picture of me (in my cap and gown), Linds and Pam and Jerry. The minute I saw that picture I seriously had a flashback and I remembered my graduation like it was yesterday. I remember that Pam and Jerry went on a camping trip or something right before my graduation and we had already said our goodbyes (because I left the States pretty much only a couple of days upon graduating). I didn't think I would see them again. My graduation ceremony was over and Linds, Jaron (My goodness, looking at that picture of Poopy and me was just mindblowing- he has certainly changed a lot over the past 8 years!) and I were talking when Pam and Jerry walked in. I remember that I was pretty surprised and I think I said something stupid like, "What are you doing here?" LOL. It was awesome to see them at my graduation and it meant a lot to me. (Still does...)It's so funny to look at that picture of the four of us. I seriously have to remind myself that it was taken 7 years ago!!! Pam and Jerry look EXACTLY the same- I don't know how they did that, but they really do. By the way, there are only two pictures of me and Pam and Jerry- the one at my graduation and a picture we took in 2007 when I stopped by for a couple of hours. It's weird... why aren't there any more pictures???
I also found tons of pictures that Pam took of Linds and I. I remember that day when we took the pictures. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining, it was pretty warm, only a little windy. We had so much fun taking these pictures. Linds and I were still so girly... I mean, we were in school and we had nothing to worry about. The reality of life had not impacted us yet and we could just enjoy that day. No worries, no regrets... it was amazing. Really miss that feeling in a way. We were just crazy, in a good way I might add, we just let go and did stupid stuff and goofed around... I am so glad I have these pictures. It brings back really good memories and the feeling of a happy and easy life. (Whoa, that sounds dramatic...LOL)
I'll keep remembering the "good old days" - and I know there are memories in the making to remember in 8 years. And I am pretty sure I will have the same feelings about my past again = I AM HOMESICK!!! ;)
I guess I will never be too old to be homesick. That's good, at least THAT will stay the same. Hehe.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Packing, unpacking, packing... MOVING
By the end of July I will no longer have my own little apartment in Leipzig. :(
I am really sad because it was very first place... back in 2004 I just could not wait to finally move out of my parent's house. And now, five incredible years later, I have to move out again. Yes, I HAVE to. I have another semester of studying ahead of me but my finances don't allow me to have a place to stay for college. It really sucks and I don't even want to think about not living in Leipzig anymore. I mean, I will have to stay at someone else's place ever so often, but I am not gonna live there. I love living in Leipzig. It's my own little refuge and the city is just amazing and beautiful as well.
I already started packing because I only have 3 weeks to get it all done. The first two boxes safely arrived in Nordhausen yesterday and Matthias and I are trying to make room for all of my furniture and all my little, precious belongings. It's weird to call Nordhausen my home. I mean, we moved into our apartment in Nordhausen last year and it is OUR place and sometimes I do feel at home in Nordhausen. But I won't have my place to hide when Matthias gets on mynerves. Lol. I seriously did that from time to time- that way we just wouldn't get into fights. But starting in August I won't have that possibility anymore... I am soooooooooo sad!
It's gonna be really odd to sell some of my stuff to strangers or friends and then leave an empty apartment knowing that I will never be able to return.
It's sad, it really is. And I am scared. I don't know if I want to live with my hubby every day... LOL. I love him, but I don't think we can live together all the time. We'll see how things go.
I am really sad because it was very first place... back in 2004 I just could not wait to finally move out of my parent's house. And now, five incredible years later, I have to move out again. Yes, I HAVE to. I have another semester of studying ahead of me but my finances don't allow me to have a place to stay for college. It really sucks and I don't even want to think about not living in Leipzig anymore. I mean, I will have to stay at someone else's place ever so often, but I am not gonna live there. I love living in Leipzig. It's my own little refuge and the city is just amazing and beautiful as well.
I already started packing because I only have 3 weeks to get it all done. The first two boxes safely arrived in Nordhausen yesterday and Matthias and I are trying to make room for all of my furniture and all my little, precious belongings. It's weird to call Nordhausen my home. I mean, we moved into our apartment in Nordhausen last year and it is OUR place and sometimes I do feel at home in Nordhausen. But I won't have my place to hide when Matthias gets on mynerves. Lol. I seriously did that from time to time- that way we just wouldn't get into fights. But starting in August I won't have that possibility anymore... I am soooooooooo sad!
It's gonna be really odd to sell some of my stuff to strangers or friends and then leave an empty apartment knowing that I will never be able to return.
It's sad, it really is. And I am scared. I don't know if I want to live with my hubby every day... LOL. I love him, but I don't think we can live together all the time. We'll see how things go.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Hollywood Fiction vs American Reality ... [completed]
I turned in my final college paper today... I don't even feel relieved. I am just too tired to thnk straight. I am sure it's gonna hit me tomorrow after sleeping for 14 hours straight... ;)
Julia, Marco and I hit the bars to celebrate the end of this term and the completion of my B.A. thesis... so much fun, but now I just wanna hit the hay and stay in bed until Monday. Oh wait, no, I am gonna see my hubby tomorrow! YAY!!
The last couple of weeks were SO stressful and I didn't do anything besides writing, researching, writng and so forth. After turning in my paper I went home to find an email from TIFFIN UNVERSITY! I was kinda surprised, especially since I had not heard from them in almost 3 months. Scott, the International Students person, asked me if I was still interested...that's a SIGN, right??
I don't know... I kinda feel like it might actually happen, maybe I am seriously gonna go to the States and get my Master's...woohoo... maybe I should not get my hopes up and just go to bed now. *yawn*
Julia, Marco and I hit the bars to celebrate the end of this term and the completion of my B.A. thesis... so much fun, but now I just wanna hit the hay and stay in bed until Monday. Oh wait, no, I am gonna see my hubby tomorrow! YAY!!
The last couple of weeks were SO stressful and I didn't do anything besides writing, researching, writng and so forth. After turning in my paper I went home to find an email from TIFFIN UNVERSITY! I was kinda surprised, especially since I had not heard from them in almost 3 months. Scott, the International Students person, asked me if I was still interested...that's a SIGN, right??
I don't know... I kinda feel like it might actually happen, maybe I am seriously gonna go to the States and get my Master's...woohoo... maybe I should not get my hopes up and just go to bed now. *yawn*
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Dreams are my reality...
Okay, I have had enough!
I always knew that dreaming (in the sense that someone has dreams about what he or she wants to do with their life) is totally important- especially for me. If I wouldn't have any goals in life (e.g. dreams to fulfill), I think I would not find enough reasons to get up in the morning.
But dreams (as in I am dreaming at night...) keep haunting me, and I seriously have had enough of all of this. My dreams are always so vivid- I wake up and I don't know if it was real or not. The other night I had a dream about someone stealing/ or me donating (I don't remember) one of my kidneys. I woke up and I seriously was in pain-it was aweful.
I keep dreaming about people I hold close to my heart- but in my dreams they are not who they really are, it seems like I dream about the evil versions of them. I don't know why... can someone please tell me what the deal is?
Whenever I had a vivid dream, I seriously am not myself the following day. It keeps haunting me, I have to think about it all the time. It's exhausting.
I wanna dream about something nice for a change.
I always knew that dreaming (in the sense that someone has dreams about what he or she wants to do with their life) is totally important- especially for me. If I wouldn't have any goals in life (e.g. dreams to fulfill), I think I would not find enough reasons to get up in the morning.
But dreams (as in I am dreaming at night...) keep haunting me, and I seriously have had enough of all of this. My dreams are always so vivid- I wake up and I don't know if it was real or not. The other night I had a dream about someone stealing/ or me donating (I don't remember) one of my kidneys. I woke up and I seriously was in pain-it was aweful.
I keep dreaming about people I hold close to my heart- but in my dreams they are not who they really are, it seems like I dream about the evil versions of them. I don't know why... can someone please tell me what the deal is?
Whenever I had a vivid dream, I seriously am not myself the following day. It keeps haunting me, I have to think about it all the time. It's exhausting.
I wanna dream about something nice for a change.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
My tail bone can predict the weather...
... and I am not even kidding!! Today, the weather changed from sunny and warm to rainy and cold. Weird weather, I can tell you that much! Anyway, I had shooting pains in my tail bone today right before the weather changed. I hate when that happens. I will never get rid of these shooting pains anymore... I am gonna have to deal with that all of my life.
YES, there is a story to it! In 2007 I went to the States for 3 days- it was my 5-year-class-reunion and I really wanted to go. I spent 3 crazy days in Ohio and when I returned to Germany (I had to work the next day- it was all totally crazy, seriously, I am not lying.) I fell- RIGHT onto my tail bone. I walked out of a bakery shop, slipped and fell down 3 steps. GREAT. Needless to say, I was black and blue. The people at the ER actually asked me if I seriously fell by myself or if someone actually pushed me- woooooooah! That was crazy. Nothing was broken- but I had to sit on a special cushion for the next 3 months or so. It was great, everyone made fun of me. I actually have pictures of my blue and black butt, but I am pretty sure you don't want to see it. (If you're in Germany and you want to see them let me know...LOL)
Anyways, I almost forgot about it until, like I said, it happened again today. I felt like an old woman, I really did, and I am sure that people made fun of my weird way of walking today...
The Lines and the Kers are on their way to Alabama right now... hope they have tons of fun.
YES, there is a story to it! In 2007 I went to the States for 3 days- it was my 5-year-class-reunion and I really wanted to go. I spent 3 crazy days in Ohio and when I returned to Germany (I had to work the next day- it was all totally crazy, seriously, I am not lying.) I fell- RIGHT onto my tail bone. I walked out of a bakery shop, slipped and fell down 3 steps. GREAT. Needless to say, I was black and blue. The people at the ER actually asked me if I seriously fell by myself or if someone actually pushed me- woooooooah! That was crazy. Nothing was broken- but I had to sit on a special cushion for the next 3 months or so. It was great, everyone made fun of me. I actually have pictures of my blue and black butt, but I am pretty sure you don't want to see it. (If you're in Germany and you want to see them let me know...LOL)
Anyways, I almost forgot about it until, like I said, it happened again today. I felt like an old woman, I really did, and I am sure that people made fun of my weird way of walking today...
The Lines and the Kers are on their way to Alabama right now... hope they have tons of fun.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
"Lilly Marie!!!!"
Have you ever noticed how wonderful it can be to hear someone say your name? I mean, think about it, as a child you knew exactly what mood your parents were in when they called you by your name. Right? You could tell whether you're in trouble, or whether your parents are sad, exhausted, happy... okay, at least that's how it was for me. I never liked it when my parents called me by my real name. Katja ALWAYS sounds harsh... no matter how much love you try to put into it.
Anyway, I have found it to be incredibly useful to have chosen a different name: Lilly -which, by the way, means "God is abundance" (I didn't know that when I picked that name... but it is incredible how I decided to take on THAT name right before I went to the States...)- sounds so much better, it literally rolls off your tongue. You can also put any emotion into it. It's pretty cool actually. Hehe ;)
Now, Lilly Marie sounds even better. It has a melody to it- especially when Pam says it. She always kinda sings it... or, well I don't really know how to describe how she says it. LOL. I guess, everytime she says it it reminds me of the moment when Linds picked my middle name. Did I tell you this story? It was sooooo funny, and to this day I still don't quite know why Lindsay decided to call me Lilly Marie. But, I think she was talking to me and I didn't really pay attention (listen to me, I am such a horrible sister!). Finally, Linds realized I didn't listen, so she called my name again and again and just added "Marie"- totally out of the blue. Well, she got my attention, that's for sure... I asked her, "Did you just call me Lilly Marie?". Linds laughed, Pam and I looked at each other - we were pretty surprised, I guess - and then the three of us agreed that I should keep Marie... so that's the story. ;)
Last night I called Linds, Jenny D and Pam. Calling Mommy was pretty nerve-wracking: my call just wouldn't go through for almost 3 AND A HALF HOURS!!!! Unbelievable, but I finally managed to call her and the moment I heard her say, "Hello!" I wanted to start crying- BUT I managed to make it through the call without sobbing. Lol. Anyway, that's not what I actually wanted to talk about. She actually said "Lilly Marie" last night. It was the first time I HEARD it in 3 looooooong months. And it kinda felt like christmas... I wish I could hear it EVERY DAY.
I am very proud to be Lilly Marie. LOL.
Anyway, I have found it to be incredibly useful to have chosen a different name: Lilly -which, by the way, means "God is abundance" (I didn't know that when I picked that name... but it is incredible how I decided to take on THAT name right before I went to the States...)- sounds so much better, it literally rolls off your tongue. You can also put any emotion into it. It's pretty cool actually. Hehe ;)
Now, Lilly Marie sounds even better. It has a melody to it- especially when Pam says it. She always kinda sings it... or, well I don't really know how to describe how she says it. LOL. I guess, everytime she says it it reminds me of the moment when Linds picked my middle name. Did I tell you this story? It was sooooo funny, and to this day I still don't quite know why Lindsay decided to call me Lilly Marie. But, I think she was talking to me and I didn't really pay attention (listen to me, I am such a horrible sister!). Finally, Linds realized I didn't listen, so she called my name again and again and just added "Marie"- totally out of the blue. Well, she got my attention, that's for sure... I asked her, "Did you just call me Lilly Marie?". Linds laughed, Pam and I looked at each other - we were pretty surprised, I guess - and then the three of us agreed that I should keep Marie... so that's the story. ;)
Last night I called Linds, Jenny D and Pam. Calling Mommy was pretty nerve-wracking: my call just wouldn't go through for almost 3 AND A HALF HOURS!!!! Unbelievable, but I finally managed to call her and the moment I heard her say, "Hello!" I wanted to start crying- BUT I managed to make it through the call without sobbing. Lol. Anyway, that's not what I actually wanted to talk about. She actually said "Lilly Marie" last night. It was the first time I HEARD it in 3 looooooong months. And it kinda felt like christmas... I wish I could hear it EVERY DAY.
I am very proud to be Lilly Marie. LOL.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Words, Actions and the Greatest Gift of them all.
I always knew that WORDS (spoken or written) can do either harm or good. Words backed up by love and ACTIONS can do anything. I have been generous with words all through my life. I like to tell people how much they mean to me because words are all I have to thank them. No earthly goods will ever make up for their friendship, love and support. It's just impossible to repay deep affection with money or whatever else some people consider "important" nowadays.
But sometimes I feel like my words can't even measure up to all the wonderful blessings I have received. It am just speechless sometimes.
Last Sunday Pastor Jim held his first worship service at Trinity. I seriosuly couldn't wait to hear it online. (If you want to listen to it, just visit Trinity's website, which you can find under "Go check this out" on the left side of this blog!)His words literally enabled my words! It was just amazing. I wrote him an email and it all went from there... and it ended with two very emotional women on two sides of this planet. ;) (I can only repeat myself: I owe you soooo much!!!)
I AM SO BLESSED, it's almost unbearable, but in a good way.
"And I lift my eyes to you, Creator of the world. And I stand in awe of you, of your glory. And I live to worship you, Son of God, King of Heaven... Here I stand! HALLELUJAH!" (Hillsong United)
And all I can say is THANK YOU! Thank you, all of you, who helped me to reach this point of my life!
THANK YOU, LORD! Thank you, for all You've done!!!
LET US ADORE HIM!!!!
But sometimes I feel like my words can't even measure up to all the wonderful blessings I have received. It am just speechless sometimes.
Last Sunday Pastor Jim held his first worship service at Trinity. I seriosuly couldn't wait to hear it online. (If you want to listen to it, just visit Trinity's website, which you can find under "Go check this out" on the left side of this blog!)His words literally enabled my words! It was just amazing. I wrote him an email and it all went from there... and it ended with two very emotional women on two sides of this planet. ;) (I can only repeat myself: I owe you soooo much!!!)
I AM SO BLESSED, it's almost unbearable, but in a good way.
"And I lift my eyes to you, Creator of the world. And I stand in awe of you, of your glory. And I live to worship you, Son of God, King of Heaven... Here I stand! HALLELUJAH!" (Hillsong United)
And all I can say is THANK YOU! Thank you, all of you, who helped me to reach this point of my life!
THANK YOU, LORD! Thank you, for all You've done!!!
LET US ADORE HIM!!!!
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