Long-distance-relationships...

I think I have gotten used to being away from the people that mean the world to me. I still don't like it but I know there is nothing I can do about it.

That's probably the reason as to why I am "okay" with not seeing Matthias for weeks and months in a row. It still sucks in a way because we have to discuss important issues on the phone and I sometimes feel like I am all alone having to face problems that I would rather tackle together. But I know there is nothing I can do about it which is why I just got used to being on my own. This is where the notion of freedom and self-dependence comes into play. I believe that I value my freedom and independence so much that I can't really stand living with someone... especially not with my husband. This may be odd or even insane but both Matthias and I are so used to living our daily lives apart from each other that it's hard to cope with each other's behavioral patterns sometimes. I mean, we love each other nevertheless but living together is more of a challenge than being apart from each other sometimes. (Of course, we cherish being together... just don't jump to conclusions!)

And, because of that, I think I learned to live with being away from my favorite Americans... the only difference is that whenever I think of them I can't wait to have them around me. Isn't that just weird? Thinking of the States I always see myself surrounded by tons of people and I love it. Why does my desire to be on my own vanish the moment I am back in the States?? May anyone please explain that to me?!

Whenever friends of mine leave Germany to study/work abroad I miss them dearly. Being away from Cathi was a pain in the butt (she is my longest and closest friend after all) but we managed being away from each other quite well because we had quite regular contact with each other. Now my soulmate Claudi is gone. Claudi and I have become extremely close within the past year and it was really hard for me to see her go. But I think with her it's even harder because I am working in her old job, staying at her apartment when I need a place to sleep in Leipzig... I am constantly reminded of her. I'm not complaining but it makes it harder for me to find back to my daily routine (whatever that is! Ha!)...

On the other hand, when I am in the States, I hardly ever think of Germany... man, life is complicated sometimes. It really is.

But relationships are as hard or as easy as you make them... that's a fact!