Encouraging words and perfect timing.

This, my friends, is Barbara. Barbara and I met 3 or 4 years ago at the Theater Studies Institute here in Leipzig. She was one of the directors for the Brecht/Weill play we did back then, and she also directed "Closed Games" and is the Co-founder of Boeme & Tochter.

Barbara and I share our craziness, our ability to dream and a passion for theater. We are good friends; we appreciate our differences, our similiarities, our mistakes and our longing to be happy. Needless to say, we have the same sense of humor and our creativity makes us perfect for each other in a way.

We met today, had coffee and just TALKED-- I never knew I missed talking to someone about our actual lives that much. For the past weeks people only talked about university stuff -- what a waste of precious time! Why do we have to discuss deadlines over and over again? We know they are there and most people only want to find out how far the others have come while they are also trying to make you feel bad... it is just so pathetic. But anyways, let's come back to the actual story here.

I told Barb that I booked my flight (which she actually already new...haha, gotta love skype). We were both happy about that -- LOL. Anyways, we then started talking about how I sometimes feel guilty because I'd rather be in the States. So many people have told me how egocentric that is. Am I really selfish? That's what I've been wondering for so long. I don't even know why we talked about that today, it just kinda happened. But Barb was the FIRST person to tell me that there is nothing selfish about me. I can't even recall what exactly she said to me (because I was too surprised) but I remember the message she wanted to convey: "You are okay! You're not doing anything wrong. I understand." Simple. That's all I needed to forget about the down side of the past 8 years and the numerous times people (close friends, family...)were just mean to me because I wanted to be in the States. It was perfect timing.

Perfect. I feel so much better about everything now. I know, I always tried to pretend it didn't get to me... of course, it got to me. I hated myself sometimes for being torn like that.

But thanks to Barb, I can now fully enjoy the fact that I have a life in the States. A life that I miss more than I can say.