I never thought I would post this on here, but I found it to be some sort of a good therapy to get it out there (and to let people know) without having to see their immediate reactions. I know that Claudi wanted me to just cry in front of her and let it all out, but I can't. I think I've cried too much the last couple of days.
I am such an emotional wreck right now. I am stressed out, I don't know what to do first... and I am broke. I mean, honestly broke. I have €1,50 ($3) on me and nothing, nada, zero, zip, nüscht... on my account. I didn't realize how bad it was until I realized (yesterday) that I had not eaten in almost 2 days. I was so done, I could hardly keep my eyes open... I slept most of the time even though I had tons and tons of things to do.
It was all too much and it was Barbara who found out about my situation. It could have been any person at that point, I had reached my limits... I was willing to just ask for help. (I know, I should have done that earlier, but... I don't know. I felt horrible...)
Barbara rushed to my place and brought FOOD! Oh my goodness....FOOD! I had the best supper in a long time, but I was so happy and emotional that I could just go on crying. I guess all of the stress and the hardships just bursted out of me.
Still today, if you just look at me I might burst into tears... ugh, I really wish this would go away. I don't like myself right now... I really don't!
But I know it will be better, it will be awesome again. I am happy to be alive- that's a start, right??
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