Come closer, dear German - German and American notions of physical closeness

As you all may (or may not) know I am always interested in cultural differences. ( I might be considered the walking encyclopedia of self- experienced differences. Woohoo!) Anyways, I am currently a mentor for two American students (from Dayton University- Ohio is always with me! YAY!) spending a summer program of their university in Leipzig, which is where I go to college. I took them and some of their friends out to dinner tonight. This is how we got to talk about a couple of things. They also asked me how many gay men live in Germany -- well, I don't have exact numbers of course, so I asked them why they wanted to know that. They told me about an incident the other night: they went out to a bar and noticed two guys, sitting pretty close to each other, talking. I am pretty sure they were not gay. It's just one of the things that are severely different in our cultures:

Americans are very friendly people. Once you become friends with them, they are just so loving, caring and considerate that it somewhat was overwhelming for me at first. But I have also noticed one thing: affection is hardly ever displayed through physical actions, except through occasional hugs. But even within families I noticed that people don't express their love for each other physically. (And, please let me stress, my dear Americans: I am referring to "love" as in mother-daughter-father-son-sister-brother-uncle-aunt-grandmother-grandfather and such. All of this is clearly non-sexual because THAT is an entirely different story which needs to be discussed at some other point!)People never understand me when I am talking about this matter. I guess it's due to the fact that it is so normal for Americans to "keep their distance" -- even when they are closely related to each other.

In Germany, on the other hand, we hug, kiss, hold hands, cuddle (...) ALL the time, even just among friends. It is not uncommon for teenage girls to hold hands while walking down the street. We touch each other a lot throughout a conversation - if we are really good friends or related to each other, of course! For example, when my Mom and I get together we hug and kiss each other quite a lot. Or I just cuddle up with my Dad -- even though I am 24. I understand that this "treatment" is limited to young kids in the States, which I really think is so sad. ( I CAN actually say that because I know what you guys are missing out on! LOL!)

Maybe that is part of the reason why German people tend to think that Americans are superficial: they talk the talk, but they don't walk the walk. I mean, Americans are so keen on telling you how much they like you (even Hallmark Cards say everything for you, you just sign your name! -- I still love getting them though, just don't try to misinterpret me here!!!!), but they hardly ever show you physically. (They show you that they care about you in many other ways, of course -- this again is a different topic though!)Physical contact follows a pattern: you hug as a way of saying "hello" and "goodbye". Maybe you'll get a hug when you're sad. But random hugs, random TLC (again, in a NON-sexual way)? PDA and TLC are huge over here in Germany. And sometimes foreigners interpret it as "being gay or lesbian". Especially when guys don't keep "an appropriate distance".

But we are just very affectionate people as well. We have a hard time saying it, but we show each other constantly how much we like each other.

That might be the only thing that I miss about Germany while being in the States. I am not good at keeping my physical distance -- especially when I like the person a lot. But I will get used to it eventually. (I guess I don't have a choice! Lol.)

I still love you, dearest Americans. Very much so!!